That’s what they say, right? “Timing is everything.”
Well, if that’s true, I’m feeling about everything’d out just now.
For two years, I’ve been working on this writing thing, posting several times a week, writing comments all over the place, finding a lovely community of friends and comrades on the way. I often wondered why. And then, I remembered . . . God asked me to do it.
Sounds weird, right? Well, it is a little. He asked this about seven years ago. And it took me five to believe it — and then, of course, retirement happened, which actually opened up exactly the kind of time and interior space that I needed to do the work.
So, I’ve been writing. And reading lots and lots of other people’s writing, too. Spending inordinate amounts of time doing all of that, actually, but learning a whole heckuva lot in the process. Like so many out here in cyberland, I struggled with the reality that not many people would ever read what I write, with the increasing pressure from all sides to be about things like ‘platform,’ and ‘SEO,’ and tweeting and creating an author page at Facebook. I worked through those peripheral issues (and for me, they are truly peripheral at this point) and gradually came to peace with writing when I could, saying what seemed good to say, and being grateful for whomever would care to stop by and leave a kind word or ask a question.
Then I got invited to write at another online spot — a magazine I loved. Wow! Cool! And then, I was asked to write for another one that I loved. Amazing! What a surprise! And then there was the Bible study series at another site and then a call for an essay at the place I long dreamed of writing. What? How did this happen? I have no clue.
And during all of this writing time, there has been our poignant and painful journey with my mom, the loss of cognition, the increasing confusion, the slow fading. Then it seemed right to us all that she should move closer to family. So we packed her up, we gathered the family love-team, and we moved her nearby. A lovely gift and a difficult reality, all at the same time.
Spiritual direction fits into this line-up, too. I stepped into training as my pastoral role was winding down, wondering if anyone would ever want to come and sit with a 68-year-old novice at this ministry. And just today, I added number seven to the list. Seven souls to meet with once a month, to listen to their lives, to listen to the Holy Spirit together, to discern where God is moving and prodding and transforming.
And then, of course, there was the completely surprising invitation to step back into work-mode again, doing worship-planning and leading, being an up-front presence for three months, after 2 years away. Also a gift. Also a puzzle to me.
Because ALL OF IT is happening Right.This.Minute.
Excuse me, Lord? Really??
Somehow, I think God is smiling smugly right about now. (Can God be smug?) “See, woman! This is what I made you to do — all of this. And if you open yourself to my grace and power in a new way, you might be surprised at how it all stitches itself together in lovely ways.”
So, I’m prayerfully (and tiredly) looking for the embroidery God is doing in the midst of what sometimes feels like the ragged hem of a garment I cannot quite see, trying to trust that the work being done in me and through me will come together. I’m looking for the silvery sheen of that thread from moment to moment some days, trusting that maybe, just maybe, I’ll catch a glimpse of what the Stitcher is up to.
Quietly joining this with Heather, Laura and Jennifer tonight. . .
And of course, when you are obedient and just put the words out there, you never know who might stumble across them and realise that they are God speaking to her right that minute. This was my experience today – thank you.
You are so welcome, Joanna. And thank YOU for leaving these kind words. I am grateful to know that God used these words to speak into your life today.
Diana, if you lived here or I lived there, I would so be signing up to sit with your 68 year old self. You are wise. You soul is beautiful. You are beautiful. Coming here to your spot is a breath of air that makes me smile and relax and remember that this journey of life is just about trusting Him. You are loved.
And I would be honored to sit with you, dear Jen. And no, you did NOT go to spam. Double hooray!!
Me, too, Jen. Ditto.
and hooray! I didn’t go to spam!!
Your gifts are sparkling and shining all over the place, that’s what. So yes, smug grin, methinks. Your words and talents are covered up in grace and love and so they roll out all sorts of crazy busy good in your life. You are spilling that on so many others and isn’t that quite amazing? I love it.
Heather
Aw, Heather – thanks so much. And I’m so grateful to have finally figured out that Just Write is a weekly link – I love it so.
I’m tired just reading! But seriously…yes, you were so obviously made for these things, Diana. I can see the way you are growing and shining and revealing the Glory in so many new ways. Isn’t it exciting? Isn’t it fun? Being a life-long learner–a life-long giver…this is what we were created to do. I’m so glad to be on this journey with you, my friend. How you inspire.
And I’m tired, just walking through the day. But I’m grateful, too. A little overwhelmed, a little puzzled, but a whole lot grateful. Thanks, Laura, for your consistent loving encouragement. You are a gift.
When my mom was dying, that’s when God said, “Now!” So much happened at once, just like you’re describing. The timing was right for writing. I just didn’t understand.
Megan, I take such heart from that piece of info. Because your writing then? Oh my goodness, it is so rich. And continues to be. I don’t understand it, either. I’m just trying my best to stay upright in the middle of it all.
Seems like a lot of folks are writing about timing today. I’m so glad that part of His timing put you in my life. There seems to be something about the hard stuff of life that helps us write raw. Love you.
I haven’t had one minute to do anything out here but respond to comments. Hopefully, later tonight I can discover others who’ve written on this topic. Thanks for coming by and leaving kind words, my friend. I am grateful for you.
Yes! If we could just catch a glimpse of that tapestry he’s weaving.
I’ve passed through a season like that, and on the other side, I’m catching just a glimmer…
Great reminder, though — and good reasons to hang in there!
Glad you’re through to the other side, Laura! And that you’re seeing hints of the grand design of it all. Thanks for stopping by and leaving encouraging words.
I know you must be so tired Diana, but your words give me such encouragement and hope. I have gone through that “trying so hard to make everything happen,” only to see things become smaller and smaller. I have come to that place of release – of finding contentment in the now and not worrying so much about the trying. It’s the reason I’ve been rather absent in the past few weeks. I’m trying to put things into balance and allow Him to work out the timing in whatever way He chooses.
Your words and your life minister in so many ways Diana. I am so thankful for you. I know He is doing something very special in and through you in this season. It will be good!
Thank you, Linda, for your words of encouragement and ‘permission’ to just lean into what ever ‘is.’ And thank you for your kindness, here and so many places out here on the web.
I read this post hungrily, saying, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” throughout. I, too, have been learning and struggling. My heart cries out, “God, is this what you want me to do–to learn about this writing thing? To struggle through the process?” He has not shouted, “Stop! Turn around!” So I walk by faith down this unknown path.
Your post gives me much hope and encouragement. “In due season” (Galatians 6:9), when the timing is right, he may open doors and create opportunities for me as he has for you. My job is to trust and keep walking–or typing, as the case may be!
I want to be like Linda, above, who is finding contentment in the now and not worrying so much about the trying.
Meanwhile, just today God gave me (a recent retiree who’s wondering if there IS fulfillment after age 64!), this scripture: “The righteous will flourish like a palm tree…in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, “The Lord is upright; he is my Rock” (Psalm 92:12-15). Yes, indeed.
I’m so glad this resonated with you, Nancy! Hang in there, practice, practice, practice – read about how to do it, pray about it. I’ve been surprised by all that I’ve learned. I have a long way to go, but I’m grateful for the journey. And being content wherever we are in the moment – that’s more than half the battle.