Five years ago, our kitchen/family room/dining area/living room looked like this – CRAZY MAKING. And it looked like some version of this for almost a year. We cooked, ate and lived in the back bedroom and bathroom.
Archives for February 2011
So, I’m retired. What the heck does that mean? For one thing, it means not having a schedule requiring me to be anywhere official. For another, it means an awareness of how very tired I have been for a very long time. And for another, it means a strange sort of free-floating anxiety, a sense of uncertainty, a lack of rootedness. Not having the schedule is lovely – at least for a while – and feels like a gift. Strangely enough, acknowledging my deep fatigue is also a gift, of sorts. Stopping for a while somehow gives my body permission to say, “Whoa, it’s about time, sister.” And that’s a good thing in the long run, even if it feels a bit disconcerting in the moment. But that last piece – that semi-anxious uncertainty….not so much a gift. At least I haven’t found the gift angle to it yet.