Vacation Posting – One: The Smallest of Steps

She stands at the screen door, calling –
“Nana. Nana. Nana.”
Over and over again, I hear it.
So I lift my voice back to her:
“Lilly, Lilly, Lilly.”
And yet again, she cries,
repeating her name for me,
calling out into the deepening dark of evening.
As I walk my evening rounds,
she searches for me.
The layout of this house we’ve rented
doesn’t allow a straight line of vision to the 
front drive where I am walking.
But surely, she can hear my voice.
As she calls, I hear the words she cannot yet say:
Is everyone in her world accounted for?
Are all those she is coming to love somewhere
in her line of sight?
Can she sleep tonight, knowing that
all is well and ordered in her world?
Her mother comes close,
whispering that Nana is just outside,
taking her walk,
see her down there?
All is well, little one. All is well.

I wonder when I hear her – is that what my cries
sound like to the God who draws nigh?
Sometimes I, too, continue to cry out God’s name,
wondering if all is well,
if I am safe,
if those I love are safe.
Yahweh. Jesus. Spirit.
Do I think the act of calling causes my Triune God 
to pay attention to me?
Am I trapped in the semi-magical thinking of
an eighteen-month-old?
Or am I able to rest,
secure in the knowledge of God’s presence,
when I cannot clearly 
see any evidence,
even if it is right in front of me?
Ah, yes…but –
sometimes just calling out a beloved name is comfort.
Sometimes it is enough.
Sometimes it has to be.

Originally posted earlier in the week with Michelle at Graceful, Jen at Finding Heaven with her soli deo gloria sisterhood, but tweaking it a tiny bit and then adding it on Thursday to Bonnie at the Faith Barista and Emily at Canvas Child because it fits somehow, and because I really like this one and I’d like to spread it around a little:


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Comments

  1. This is beautiful. And sometimes just calling His name has to be enough because we just cannot formulate the words for anything else. I’m so grateful that there is power even in His name.

  2. When my mother was dying, I found myself holding on hard to Paul’s comfort: When we do not know how to pray, the Spirit prays in us, for us, with sighs too deep for words.

  3. Wow! I had never even thought about my relationship with God this way, but what a beautiful image you created! Yes, sometimes there is comfort in saying His name, even though He is always within sight.

  4. I call His name — and in the calling there is relief. Even when I can’t feel God, the relief is there in trusting He hears me call. Such a beautiful post and oh my, the sweet baby. So adorable.

  5. I loved this post…I feel like I’ve been doing this lately…just calling on his name like a little lost and desperate 2 year old 😉

  6. Precious and true words…
    Found you on the Faith Barista Jam site – so glad to visit this peaceful place.

  7. i heard Christ calling out to me through your words. a beautiful, tender post, friend. such love, here.

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