Good Friday

It was a simple service. The sanctuary was stripped – no altar, no pulpit, no greenery. Our magnificent tall candlestand, the Christ candle guttering atop it, was the only adornment in the chancel. A length of black cloth hung from one side of the cross and seven identical, small, pillar candles, sitting on plain glass plates, were spaced on the two plaster counters below the screens.


Don and I and our talented musicians – Chris on piano, Dan on guitar, Paul on trumpet, Anne on oboe and Phil on violin – wore black clothing and quiet expressions. Martha had selected some marvelous crucifixion artwork, one for each of the seven last words, and they graced the screens as each lesson was offered. Don gave me the great gift of assembling this year’s Good Friday service, a task I embraced and deeply appreciated.

The traditional rhythm of lesson and response, coupled with diminishing light as each word was read, filled the room with a sober, respectful and expectant stillness. The musicians were amazing, echoing with rich, mournful sounds.


The words before the extinguishing of the last side candle were these: “It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ When he had said this, he breathed his last.” (Luke 23)

The light of the world is fading, the end has come. Jesus has passed through the pain of fear, of betrayal, of denial, of humiliation, of unjust accusation, of torture, of despair. Love is hung on a cross and left to die alone. Yet, at the end of it all, the valley of darkness has not been the valley of abandonment. The Father of Lights, the Father of Life, the Father is there, ready to receive this gift of love.The room went dark as Don carried the still lit Christ candle out of the building, and the oboe and violin played, “Were You There?”

Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift.

An African Journey: Post Six – The Gift of Sight

Being a Grandparent…



Today was a welcome dose of normalcy. After one solid week of terrorizing, wind-driven fires all around us here in Santa Barbara, trying to do some semblance of ministry while choosing which items to accompany us in evacuation, worshipping in a hotel ballroom because our sanctuary – for the 2nd time in six months – was off-limits due to encroaching flames – it was absolutely delightful to just be Nana for a while today.

Gracie is our youngest grandchild and only granddaughter. She is 3.5 years old, smart as a whip and, of course, absolutely adorable, stunningly beautiful, funny, lovable, creative and an all-around exceptional child (as are all of our six grandsons, it goes without saying. Lovely thing about grandparenthood – you get to brag as much as you like). And she is the only one of our kids to live within easy distance for babysitting and special events.

Grace’s parents were working today and unable to attend her pre-school Mother’s Day Program and Luncheon – so I got to go. Such fun!

Her class sang two songs by themselves (all of them in bird costumes, which were assigned to their parents to create. Rachel sewed a lovely white plastic set of ‘feathers’ and created a crown-of-flame-feathers headpiece.)
Then Room Two sang two songs, and Room Three did 4 short Shel Silverstein poems in batches of 3 or 4 kids, and then sang two additional songs. Then all the classes together sang two more songs, complete with hand motions, one of which was truly wonderful to hear and to watch. Something about sewing new clothes for every member of the family – all you need is: (add one with each verse)
a sewing machine (appropriate noises), (this one for mama)
a bolt of material (extreme hand motions to each side), (this one for papa)
a tape measure (z-z-z-i-p, z-z-z-u-p), (this one for sister)
a pair of scissors (snip, snip, snip), (this one for brother)
a steam iron (pss, pss, pss), (this one for baby)
and a washing machine (can’t remember the sound for this one! (this one for the whole entire family)

And then we feasted! And Gracie is a great eater – plowed through a small croissant sandwich with turkey, a KFC drumstick, a handful of grapes and a small piece of cake without even blinking.

I also got to pick her up at the end of the day and we went to the village grocer for supplies and came home and made chocolate chip cookies. Only she wasn’t so sure about the oatmeal I included. A purist, I guess.

At any rate, it was good for me in every way possible – even good for my soul/spirit. A reminder that life is a gift, that children are among life’s best gifts, that continuity, family, music and food are to be enjoyed and relished.

Silent Saturday: refreshment, renewal, reminder

Five Minute Friday: Open

It’s the last Friday of 2011. Wow, that year just sorta flew by, didn’t it? We’ve been on a brief vacation this week, enjoying the beauty of the Cambria coastline in central CA with our older daughter and her family. I’ve tried to keep up with reading but am failing miserably. And writing? Fuggedabout it. But this favorite 5 minute prompt? I’ll give it a try as Friday winds down. Check out Lisa-Jo’s collection every Friday at http://thegypsymama.com/  And if you feel like joining in, go for it! 
                                                                                                                          














Driving north on Highway 1 this week, we were stopped for about 20 minutes due to single lane driving as a new bridge and tunnel are being constructed. I loved the way the bridge we landed on opened up to the view and yet cast its own shadows that were interesting, even beautiful to behold. I’d like my life to be open to the view, the heavenly view! And I love looking for shadows of heaven in the here and now

This week’s prompt:

OPEN

GO:

“Open my eyes, that I may see,
glimpses of truth thou hast for me;
place in my hands the wonderful key
that shall unclasp and set me free.
Silently now I wait for thee,
ready, my God, thy will to see.
Open my eyes, illumine me, Spirit divine!

Open my ears, that I may hear,
voices of truth thou sendest clear;
and while the wavenotes fall on my ear,
everything false will disappear.
Chorus 

Open my mouth, and let me bear
gladly the warm truth everywhere;
open my heart and let me prepare
love with thy children thus to share.”*
Chorus 

An old song,
filled with strange language,
yet speaking truth still.
This is what weaves its way
through my mind
and my heart
as I walk through this day,
wondering how to respond
to this Friday’s prompt.

The song is a prayer,
a prayer I echo – 
sometimes hesitantly,
sometimes even fearfully,
but echo it, I do. 

OPEN:
Eyes.
Ears.
Mouth. 

And I would add to these:
Hands.
Arms.
Home.
Calendar.
Heart.
Life.

A new year comes, Lord.
A new year.
May I receive it 
with
grace and gratitude,
with
hope and anticipation,
with
quietness and strength. 

Open me right up.
Open.


STOP


*This hymn was written by Clara H. Scott in 1895. The text comes from Psalm 119:18 – “Open my eyes that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.”

 

Guest Post: A Christmas Remembered

My friend Linda Thomas over at Spiritual Memoirs 101 put out a call for Christmas stories at the end of November, promising to publish one of them during Christmas week. She actually chose FOUR and mine is in that fourth slot today. 

Christmas was one week away. As usual, I had more to do than I had hours in the day. Would I manage to keep all the plates twirling overhead as the final countdown loomed? Just the night before, our nine-year-old had played in a school concert; he complained that his foot hurt and I noticed that he limped as the brass section marched into place.

That morning, he clearly didn’t want to go to school; he was slightly feverish, so I told him he could take the day off, tagging along on my errands. “You can rest in the car at the grocery store, honey, but I’ll need you to come in with me at church. I’ve got a rehearsal for Sunday morning.”

As our trio sang into the microphone, I kept one eye on the balcony, where I watched Eric entertaining himself. My tall, lanky son was crawling his way around the balcony floor. “That’s odd,” I thought.

Come along over to Linda’s place to read the rest of this disquieting Christmas experience, one that was redeemed by grace and healingYou can find it here.

 

Guest Post: Dancing With God

A couple of weeks ago, I left a comment on my blog friend Deidra’s site. Linda Thomas read it and asked if I’d be willing to expand it into a full-on blog post for her. I was delighted to help because I love all of Linda’s encouraging and practical words about writing spiritual memoirs as a legacy for our families – what I try to do in this space, actually. Here’s a snippet and a link on over to her spot where you can read the rest…

As is my habit, I took a walk around my driveway one evening last week. And afterward, I sat in our tree-swing to cool down, looking over this property and home that we love, and I asked myself a hard question: “Why, Lord? Why do I have so much while so many others have so little?” Each day as I walk, I try to be thankful, specifically thankful, for the gifts of the day. And always, always, I am thankful for this house, this yard, this place that feels like gift every single day we’re here. And on this day, this particular day, after reading beautifully written and poignant posts about starving children in the Horn of Africa and children needing sponsors through World Vision or Compassion International, I was feeling overwhelmed by the discrepancy between my life and theirs.

And then, I remembered some of the bits and pieces of my story.


Hop on over to Linda’s to read the rest…

http://spiritualmemoirs101.blogspot.com/2011/09/dancing-with-god.html

Trying Out Sonnets – with Photos Added, Too

The creative minds over at T.S. Poetry have linked up with similar thinkers at The High Calling this month, encouraging us to try our hand at reflecting on our history through poetry and photo. The photos are beyond me for this assignment – not enough time to be as reflective as I’d like – and I’m in the midst of a technical slap-down, learning to edit in Picasa without Picnik and do batches of watermarked pictures. Not up to speed yet, but I have hope! 

(12 hours later – I am posting pictures I unsuccessfully attempted to add to the High Calling group…because a search did not turn up such a group! So here they are, with my comments – after the sonnet. Transferring the comments did not yield great formatting, so I apologize for the broken sentences here and there.)

First off, here is a very strange (and my first ever) attempt at writing my story, my back-story actually, in sonnet form:
 

From There to Here

Over the sea, across the hills, they came with babies in hand.
And not only those, but ‘children’ unseen, baggage from heaven and hell.
Depressive binges, silence and outrage, fears too immense to command,
all of it clinging, like barnacled boat hulls, as small Craftsman houses they filled.
Each side of the tree that tracks my beginnings tells tales remarkably true;
strong women working, troubled men shirking; collars of both white and blue.

They all found their way to that downtown brick building, Trinity Methodist Church.
Music and laughter brought happ’ly e’er after as my parents started anew.
The baggage came with them, minus some heft, as together they started to lurch

toward life and its beauty, life and its sorrow, life with its hard lessons, too.
Creating a family, immersed in the 50’s, with women subservient at home,
though better than childhood, proved binding and blinding, creating a box all its own.
 

Over 40 years later, I chose to jump sideways, leaving box and the 50’s behind.
Perhaps you can see now, why most of my tree-mates think surely I’ve lost my mind.
And here are the photos and comments: 
Who made up your DNA?
My father was born in the deep south but grew up in Los Angeles. This blue book was written in by his mother from 1917 until about 1927. I don’t remember ever seeing this book when I was growing up. My mother surprised me by giving it to me a few months ago and I have loved seeing my daddy as a baby and young boy. Such stark, sepia-tinted photos throughout, such strange insights into my grandmother’s psyche and background. The nurse who helped deliver my dad is noted in this book as ‘colored.’ What a shock that was to read!
The shoes are mine, again given to me fairly recently. They are well-worn, as I had a severely extended arch on one foot, requiring a ‘lift’ in one shoe and constant wearing. I wore
corrective shoes for about eight years – and I HATED THEM.
Where do I come from? 

A father who lived and loved music (no photos, sadly) and a mother who knew how to welcome others. These luncheon trays littered my early life – church friends, neighborhood
friends, dad’s work colleagues – everyone was welcomed into our small home in North Hollywood, and a few years later, a larger one in Glendale. Each home was lovingly decorated ‘on the cheap’ – that’s what happens on a single income teacher’s paycheck.


What object is precious to your past? 

I chose two of them, both representing my mother’s grace, beauty and hospitality. The aqua figurine sat in the middle of a low bowl, used to float camellias from a wide array of bushes
in our yard. The tea cup is the first of my mother’s collection, given to her as a wedding gift, and reminiscent on so many levels of our family history. My mom’s dad came from England, her mom from Canada, and English or Canadian china teacups are a huge page in my story. I now have pieces of both my grandmother’s and my mother’s collections. I don’t use them as often as I once did, although when I dig out those luncheon trays (previous photo), I often choose to use china cups instead of the glass ones. I love the all-over calico pattern of this cup and it is now so delicate that I only use it decoratively and not for tea.  


What memory resonates most deeply?

This is a piece of the slate roof on the Presbyterian church in which I was confirmed and married. The old gothic structure was torn down following the massive Northridge earthquake in 1971 and the slates were sold to help raise funds for a new building. This was the church of my adolescence and beyond (ages 12-30), the place where my leadership gifts were called out and named, where my faith became anchored in sound thinking, good questions and NO easy answers.


What moment in history marks your childhood? 

This plate is the one thing I asked my mother to leave me when she dies. She decided to give it to me before that happens and it currently hangs in my entry hall. This church is where I
met Jesus, where I walked forward every month to receive communion between the ages of 7 and 12, where my father played magnificent solos and accompanied the choirs and the
congregation many Sundays. This brownstone building was known to me, deep in my marrow – all the hiding places, the strange rooms, the colored glass windows – each corner precious and safe and inviting. It closed the year after we moved away and began attending Glendale Pres – one of the saddest days of my young life. The heritage I carry from that place is literal – my parents met and married there, I was baptized there. Sad to think it is now a used car lot in downtown LA.


These Sunset Years…

My parents on their wedding day – August 24, 1941
They were 20 and 24, starry-eyed,
moving into unknown territory.
Neither of them came from great marriages,
though mom’s home was warm and loving
between my grandfather’s alcoholic binges.
Dad’s family? 
Driven, controlling mother,
distant, emotionally volatile father,
parents who tolerated each other 
just enough to form three children.
They had a lot to learn, this bright-hearted pair,
a lot to learn –
about each other, about life,
about creating something new out of the 
beat-up bricks of the past.
And they learned it together,
creating a circle of love, laughter and music,
punctuated at points by whispers of their own hard journeys.
But oh, how they loved each other.
Six years ago, dad died.
A hard death in some ways,
a long dying.
He was 87, she was 84.
This year, mom turned 90.
And still, she misses him so. 
Sometimes it is painful to see, to hear.
Yesterday, she received some hard news,
some deeply sad news,
another reminder that only a feeble few
remain from the old gang.
Martha was a tiny thing,
gracious and loving.
She carried sadness in her bones, however.
Her oldest son walked out of their lives 
over 40 years ago, never to be heard from again.
She carried that pain deep within,
sometimes following it right into
the blackness of depression.
When her Benjy died, the light went out of her life,
just like it did for my mom when her Ben died.
Martha’s short husband was my tall father’s best man,
and he went to Jesus first, a few years before my dad.

Each of these valiant women lost most of their eyesight 
in the years following their husband’s deaths.
They commiserated together by phone,
one in southern California,
one in eastern Pennsylvania.
And they held each other up in those phone calls.
Yes, they did. They held each other up.
They loved the Lord, but they wondered –
why must it be so hard?
Why must there be so much loss in this life
How long will be be here without them? 
“I just feel so, so sad,” she sobbed into the phone last night.
“I can see her still, standing in the garden,
singing for our wedding.
I can hear her sweet soprano in my ear. 
Did you know that we sang in a quartet at Trinity? 
Oh, I cannot even find the words to tell you how
terrible this feels.”
And then a brief confession:
“And, to tell you the truth, I am more than a little bit jealous.”
“Jealous, Mom?” I asked.
“Yes, jealous. You know I’d much rather be with your dad
than here, honey.”
“I know, Mom. I know.”
What else can be said at such a time?
There are no words
on the eve of what would have been anniversary #70,
there are no words.
Hanging onto hope, that’s what we’re doing.
Hanging onto hope of the resurrection.
Hanging onto hope of reunion.
Hanging onto hope in Jesus,
that’s what we’re doing.
And we’re missing those we loved and lost.
We’re doing that, too.

Not sure this fits the memes entirely, but I am joining with Michelle at Graceful for her “Hear it on Sunday, Use It on Monday” invitation and with Jen at FindingHeaven’s soli deo gloria sisterhood:
 

Five Minute Friday: New

Lisa-Jo invited suggestions on her facebook page this week and two people suggested this prompt – ‘new.’  I’m finding it sort of tough, actually.  But maybe…just maybe…that’s because it’s midnight and I should be heading to bed. Instead, I’m going to set that timer and write for five minutes, without worrying whether it’s ‘right’ or not. Let’s see what comes out…

GO:

One of the best parts of being a grandparent is seeing life through new eyes. With each adventure, whether it’s something I’ve done a hundred times before or not, I get the rare privilege of seeing it again for the first time.

The wonder of blowing bubbles.

The fun of blowing kisses.

The softness of a kitten’s fur.

The first taste of ice cream.

The feel of grass on my bare feet.

The accomplishment of riding a 2-wheeler without training wheels.

The exhiliration of roller-skating downhill.

The wibble-wobble of that first loose tooth.

The thrill of a scary amusement park ride.

The mysterious beauty of life under the ocean, whether seen through a snorkeling mask or on a first-time visit to a really good aquarium.

It’s all brand new again – the joy of discovery, the wonders of creation, the way our bodies can take us amazing places!

STOP.

Gracie, age 5, at the Monterey Bay Aquarium on Monday of this week.