to me that my time as a member of a church staff
I took a walk around the grounds of that retreat center, discovering a small gift shop with jewelry for sale. Almost immediately, I spied this Jerusalem cross (second from left above) and snatched it up. Somehow that small, silver ornament became a picture of God’s promised presence amidst all the things that were shifting in my life. I wore it daily for the rest of that year. It became a sort of touchstone, a reminder that I was not alone as I navigated the changing scene before me. And I began adding other symbolic pieces to the chain. About a year later, six weeks after my retirement That summer, after being too ill the previous year to continue the program in Chicago with my own denomination, I stepped into training with the Benedictines. Such a gift. So the last piece added was the medal of St. Benedict. Taken all together, A rich, wonderful, Spirit-graced life. During the hardest months of this time of change – from about October of 2010 through May of 2011 – I took it off only to shower. Somehow, the weight of it called to mind the immensity of this time in my life, this move from active ministry to a more quiet and quotidian way of doing life. Gradually, this way of living became the new normal, and as it did, the necklace sat on the counter more and more often. I still love to look at it. And I still tend to wear it when I’m feeling uncertain or anxious. I wore it every day during my last two weeks in community with the Benedictines in July and August. And I’ll likely wear it every day that I’m on retreat at Laity Lodge. But I don’t wear it to bed anymore. I don’t wear it every day or even every week. Because I’m here. I’ve settled – as much as it is possible for a person of my personality to settle anywhere! And I am grateful, so, so grateful for what I’m learning, what I’ve been invited to do, how God is working through me and in me and around me even here, even now. I’m glad I took that particular route as I walked around the grounds of that retreat center in 2009. And I’m glad to have this tangible reminder of God’s faithfulness in the midst of major life changes. It’s just a necklace. But it’s also a story, an Ebenezer of sorts, a marker of how the LORD has been here, right through the shifting sands of change. I look at it and say, “Thus far, the Lord has helped me.” And I say, “Thank you. Thank you.” My thanks to Amber Haines and her new writing prompt each week. The word this week was ‘necklace.’ I cannot write in poetic majesty as she does, but I very much enjoyed thinking about this one. So, thanks, Amber. You can click on this sentence to find her beautiful reflection and to find links to others who have taken up her challenge.
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