Archives for March 2012

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to the Cross – Day TWENTY

March 15, 2012 By Diana

Mark 6:30-46, Today’s New International Version

The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. But many who saw them leaving recognized them and ran on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.

By this time it was late in the day, so his disciples came to him. “This is a remote place,” they said, “and it’s already very late. Send the people away so that they can go to the surrounding countryside and villages and buy themselves something to eat.”

But he answered, “You give them something to eat.”

They said to him, “That would take almost a year’s wages! Are we to go and spend that much on bread and give it to them to eat?”

“How many loaves do you have?” he asked. “Go and see.”

When they found out, they said, “Five—and two fish.”

Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to set before the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces of bread and fish. The number of the men who had eaten was five thousand.

Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray.

_______

It was just one of those days.

You know the kind. You’ve poured yourself out, doing something you love to do but something which requires a lot of focused attention and interaction.

And you’re dead on your feet when you’re done.

The twelve are feeling like that – and Jesus sees it and suggests a remedy – a getaway, someplace quiet and isolated.

So off they go, clambering into a nearby boat, pushing off, relieved and gratified to be heading on retreat.

Maybe they should have guessed at what happened. They are now pretty fully immersed in ministry life – and this is what it looks like an awful lot of the time: needy people, 24/7.

And Jesus takes pity on the pushing, bustling crowd of them.

Several hours of teaching later, the disciples begin to wonder. So they decide to tell Jesus what is best.

“Send them home, Lord. That’s the best plan. Let’s be done for the day, okay?“

And his response absolutely, positively flabbergasts them:

Why should we send them away hungry?

YOU feed them.

Say what?

WE’RE supposed to order in for this crowd??

No need for that, Jesus says. Look around. All you need is right here.

And you know what?

He was right.

There is enough.
     There is more than enough.
          There is an abundance.
               There is an extravagant abundance.
                    There is more than they know what to do with.

Everyone is fed, everyone is full.
     The sheep found their shepherd,
          the apprentices learned an amazing lesson,
   and the shepherd?

He takes a hike.
Disciples – over there, in the boat.
Crowds – off you go, now it’s time to head home.
Jesus – up into the hills for prayer, refreshment, replenishment.

Everybody needs to be fed – even Jesus.

And there is always…always, more than enough.

_______

You are indeed our Shepherd, Jesus. You know us inside and out. You know when we need feeding – and you know exactly the kind of food we need and when we need it. Thank you that you don’t distinguish or compartmentalize or prioritize our hunger – whether it’s spiritual or physical, you care about it, you move to meet the need. Remind us that we, too, are to look around, to find the resources available to us, and to share them with the starving sheep we meet from day to day. Help us to remember that there is always, always… enough. Amen.
_______

And just because we are now at the halfway point on our Lenten Journey – and because I love these words so much, and because they fit today’s theme so very beautifully, I’m going to write them out for you in this space today. Because what we most deeply desire, what we need – is beyond our wants, beyond our fears. Oh, YES. We need a shepherd. Yes, indeed, we do.

These are the lyrics from a lovely musical version of the Shepherd’s Psalm, #23, by Marty Haugen. (You can find a link to a sung version of this lovely call-and-response if you click here and head over to look at the bottom of this post.)

Refrain: (sung first and after every verse)

Shepherd me, O God, beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into life.

God is my shepherd, so nothing shall I want,
I rest in the meadows of faithfulness and love.
I walk by the quiet waters of peace.
Refrain
Gently you raise me and heal my weary soul,
you lead me by pathways of righteousness and truth,
my spirit shall sing the music of your Name.
Refrain
Though I should wander the valley of death,
I fear no evil, for you are at my side,
your rod and your staff, my comfort and my hope.
Refrain
You have set me a banquet of love in the face of hatred,
crowning me with love beyond my pow’r to hold.
Refrain
Surely your kindness and mercy follow me all the days of my life;
I will dwell in the house of my God forevermore.
Refrain

Filed Under: biblical reflection, Lenten Journey, Wonderings in the Word

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to the Cross – Day NINETEEN

March 14, 2012 By Diana

Lilly, in her ‘rainbow fwetter,’ giving her friend Alice a big hug and kiss at her 2nd birthday party last month.

Genesis 45:1-15, Today’s New International Version

(Yesterday’s devotional reading list had TWO texts I wanted to wrestle with and reflect on, so I’m ‘cheating’ today by using the 2nd of those texts in this post. Back on schedule tomorrow – I promise!)

Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers. And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh’s household heard about it.

Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.

Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

“So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. Now hurry back to my father and say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don’t delay. You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me—you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.’

“You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that it is really I who am speaking to you. Tell my father about all the honor accorded me in Egypt and about everything you have seen. And bring my father down here quickly.”

Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him.

_______

Don’t you just love reunions?

Well, here is one of the best ever.

Joseph,
     the over-confident,
          slightly obnoxious,
               Daddy’s boy –
     big-time dreamer,
          unwise teller of truth –
THAT Joseph,
     sold by his brothers, like an unwanted plaything –
     many years of long stories later,
that Joseph reveals himself to his brothers.

Those brothers –

the very ones who had betrayed him as a teenager;

the very ones who lied to their father, telling him Joseph was dead.

the very ones who have come, hats in hand, to beg for mercy

one.more.time –

these are the ones Joseph weeps over.

Yes, he has tested those brothers, wanting to be sure they have outgrown their violent past.

And they have passed every test.

So now – it all comes gushing out:
     “It’s me, guys!”
     “It’s all fine, guys.”
     “I know you meant it for harm – but God…”

“But GOD…”

Possibly the two most beautiful words in the English language.

Words that Joseph repeats and repeats,
     assuring his terror-stricken brothers that all is well.
     Things are as they should be,
          as God meant them to be –
               even as God had told him they would be,
                    those many eons ago, back in his dreaming days.

Ah, yes. Those dreams.

Never underestimate the power of a dream. Never.

For in many ways, it is dreams that power this entire story:
     Joseph’s dreams as a young boy, full of himself, babbling and bragging…
     Prisoners’ dreams which bring Joseph to the attention of powerful people…
     Pharoah’s dreams which bring the gift of an entirely new life to Joseph –
     the sold one,
          the falsely accused one,
               the imprisoned one,
                    the forgotten one –
now…the exalted one.

But most of all, this story is about GOD’S dream.

God’s dream of a people uniquely his own;

God’s dream to preserve them when famine strikes;

God’s dream for the salvation, healing and reconciliation of the entire human race through the choosing and the saving of that people…

a dream which is planted as a seed here in Genesis,

and then blooms into the beautiful Rose of Sharon, Jesus of Nazareth, whom we meet in the pages of the gospels.

Talk about a God-sized dream. Wow.

_______

O Dreaming God, thank you for planting your dream for our reunion with you deep in the heart of each one of us. And thank you for the story of Joseph – all of the story of Joseph – the hard parts, the scary parts, the exciting parts, the deeply satisfying parts. Help us to nourish our dreams, to test them and treasure them. And by your Spirit at work within us, empower us to live them. Amen.

Click here for day one of this series and an explanation of what it’s all about.

Filed Under: biblical reflection, Lenten Journey, Wonderings in the Word

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to the Cross – Day EIGHTEEN

March 13, 2012 By Diana

Mark 6:1-13, The Message

He left there and returned to his hometown. His disciples came along. On the Sabbath, he gave a lecture in the meeting place. He made a real hit, impressing everyone. “We had no idea he was this good!” they said. “How did he get so wise all of a sudden, get such ability?”

But in the next breath they were cutting him down: “He’s just a carpenter—Mary’s boy. We’ve known him since he was a kid. We know his brothers, James, Justus, Jude, and Simon, and his sisters. Who does he think he is?” They tripped over what little they knew about him and fell, sprawling. And they never got any further.

Jesus told them, “A prophet has little honor in his hometown, among his relatives, on the streets he played in as a child.” Jesus wasn’t able to do much of anything there—he laid hands on a few sick people and healed them, that’s all. He couldn’t get over their stubbornness. He left and made a circuit of the other villages, teaching.

Jesus called the Twelve to him, and sent them out in pairs. He gave them authority and power to deal with the evil opposition. He sent them off with these instructions:

“Don’t think you need a lot of extra equipment for this. You are the equipment. No special appeals for funds. Keep it simple.

“And no luxury inns. Get a modest place and be content there until you leave.

“If you’re not welcomed, not listened to, quietly withdraw. Don’t make a scene. Shrug your shoulders and be on your way.”

Then they were on the road. They preached with joyful urgency that life can be radically different; right and left they sent the demons packing; they brought wellness to the sick, anointing their bodies, healing their spirits.
_______

Such an interesting juxtaposition of Jesus-stories Mark has chosen to put here in the opening verses of chapter six.

Take another look at this phrase from the last paragraph –

“They preached with joyful urgency that life can be radically different; right and left they sent the demons packing…”

Lay that line out against another one, taken from the early part of this passage:

“Jesus wasn’t able to do much of anything there; he laid hands on a few sick people there and healed them – that’s all.”

What’s the difference between these two?

Why such dynamism in one story and the lack of it in the other?

Jesus brought his traveling band back to his hometown. And initially, he preached with power.

“Yeah, man!” say some of the neighbors. “That guy can PREACH! Who knew?”

But then those townsfolk think about it a little – often a bad sign. Because when we have second thoughts, we usually share them with others, right? And we can really do a number on people when we whisper about them in the corners of life.

“Hmmm…we knew that kid. Didn’t he live down the street and run around the village with our children? He acts like he’s got the answers to all the world’s problems! Who does he think he is?”

ZING.

And Jesus sees this for exactly what it is: prideful stubbornness. An inability to believe their own eyes and ears, an unwillingness to acknowledge that this nondescript carpenter could possibly have grown into a full-fledged prophet/teacher/miracle-worker.

And here’s the power-point-great-big-starred-item for me in this text:
     their own refusal to see
          led to…
     the shut-down of Jesus’ ability to work his healing power in their midst.

Talk about scary.

God has given us an incredible amount of power, hasn’t he?

Our refusal to see and to believe, our willful choice to say ‘no,’ seems to limit what God can do for us.

But you see what happens next?

Jesus blows right on by that town – he leaves and heads out to places where his ministry is welcomed.

And then…

Then he turns to his closest associates – the 12 disciples – and he pairs them up and he looks ’em in the eye and tells them they now have HIS authority and power to preach/teach/ heal/exorcise.

And he sends them out to do exactly that.

AND THEY DO IT!!

Who knew?

_______

Jesus, your story just gets curiouser and curiouser. Our attitudes, our choices can somehow limit what you will do for us? Well, that’s just plain mind-blowing. And if that weren’t enough – you follow that little tidbit up with this one: those guys – those 12 who were so much like we are, all squirrely and confused and inappropriate – you authorize them to do the wild kinda stuff you do?

Gulp. Does that mean we have that authority, too?

Lord, have mercy.

Click here for day one of this series and an explanation of what it’s all about.

Filed Under: biblical reflection, Lenten Journey, Wonderings in the Word

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to the Cross – Day SEVENTEEN

March 12, 2012 By Diana

Psalm 77, The Message

I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens.

I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;
      my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal.
   When friends said, “Everything will turn out all right,”
      I didn’t believe a word they said.
   I remember God—and shake my head.
      I bow my head—then wring my hands.
   I’m awake all night—not a wink of sleep;
      I can’t even say what’s bothering me.
   I go over the days one by one,
      I ponder the years gone by.
   I strum my lute all through the night,
      wondering how to get my life together.

Will the Lord walk off and leave us for good?
      Will he never smile again?
   Is his love worn threadbare?
      Has his salvation promise burned out?
   Has God forgotten his manners?
      Has he angrily stalked off and left us?
   “Just my luck,” I said. “The High God goes out of business
      just the moment I need him.”

Once again I’ll go over what God has done,
      lay out on the table the ancient wonders;
   I’ll ponder all the things you’ve accomplished,
      and give a long, loving look at your acts.

O God! Your way is holy!
      No god is great like God!
   You’re the God who makes things happen;
      you showed everyone what you can do—
   You pulled your people out of the worst kind of trouble,
      rescued the children of Jacob and Joseph.

Ocean saw you in action, God,
      saw you and trembled with fear;
      Deep Ocean was scared to death.
   Clouds belched buckets of rain,
      Sky exploded with thunder,
      your arrows flashing this way and that.
   From Whirlwind came your thundering voice,
      Lightning exposed the world,
      Earth reeled and rocked.
   You strode right through Ocean,
      walked straight through roaring Ocean,
      but nobody saw you come or go.

Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron,
You led your people like a flock of sheep.

_______

Oh. My. Goodness.

I LOVE what Peterson has done with this wonderful cry of angst, this journeyman’s rage against the Machine.

The psalmist is caught.

Feels trapped.

Abandoned.

ANGRY!!

And where does he vent all that emotion?

“Just my luck, the High God goes out of business just the moment I need him.”

He lets GOD have it.

And can I tell you how much I love, love, LOVE this??

There is nowhere better to go with all that we are feeling than directly into the presence of God.

Sometimes I think those of us who grew up in the church may be at a distinct disadvantage with this truth. Many well-meaning Sunday school teachers – and even some parents here and there – raised us to believe that ‘nice’ boys and girls don’t get angry. And most certainly, they don’t get angry at God!

Yet, as I read the psalms,
as I look at some of the vignettes in the life of Jesus,
I scratch my head at this sad truth.

Clearly, anger
     – in and of itself –
is neither unknown nor unwelcome,
          in our scripture,
               or to our God.

It’s what we DO with the anger that adds moral weight, isn’t it?

And what the psalmist does here is just…well, wonderful.

He vents it in God’s direction – honestly, fully.
And then…
     he remembers where he and God have been together,
     he remembers where his people and God have been together,
     he remembers that God is God –
and he…is not.

And that last line?

“Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron, You guided your people like a flock of sheep.”

This mighty God, the one the psalmist has been remembering,

this striding God,

voice like a whirlwind,

a figure so terrifying that the ocean itself trembles in fear –

this God ‘hides’ in the hands of people like Moses and Aaron, like you and like me in order to work God’s way in the world he has made.

Remarkable. Just remarkable.

_______

O Lord, help me to remember that ALL of what I am feeling is seen and welcomed. Remind me that you cannot be overwhelmed or disgusted by my struggles, that you invite me to be more real with you than with anyone else. Help me to exhaust all of it right here — and then — help me to turn my energies to remembering and re-telling your story with me, my story with you. Thank you for giving me the gift of an emotional life – help me to steward it well.

Click here for day one of this series and an explanation of what it’s all about.

Filed Under: biblical reflection, Lenten Journey, Wonderings in the Word

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to Calvary – THIRD Sunday

March 11, 2012 By Diana

A completely over-the-top personal chapel in what is now a large monastery at Melk, Austria. The artwork is glorious, yet somehow the very grandeur of the place seems off-putting and out of synch with
the simple power of the gospel message.

John 2:13-22, Today’s New International Version

When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.”

The Jews then responded to him, “What sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?”

Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.”

They replied, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?” But the temple he had spoken of was his body. After he was raised from the dead, his disciples recalled what he had said. Then they believed the scripture and the words that Jesus had spoken.

_______

Did you catch the location of this passage? Gospel of John – chapter TWO.

Every other gospel has this episode located at the beginning of Holy Week, very late in the life and ministry of Jesus.

But John – ever the contrarian – puts this narrative at the beginning of Jesus’ ministry life, as a ‘kick-off’ event of sorts.

And what better way to start your life as a rabbi than to thoroughly tick off all the influential religious people in the Holy City? You know the ones I mean – the guys with the clout – the ones who could make or break you as a spiritual leader?

Well, tick them off he does. He clears the place of all the fuss and mess of folks offering their thoroughly inappropriate best-buys-in-sacrifical-animals. And he makes no bones about it, either: Stop this. Get this stuff outta here.

The mightily offended scribes and Pharisees pull their prayer shawls ever so closely and ask – what right, what authority have you to do this dastardly deed?

And basically, Jesus answers with a riddle. A riddle they do not understand – and I’m pretty certain Jesus knew they would not understand, they could not understand. Even those who were closest to him didn’t understand until much, much later.

John’s portrait of Jesus is dripping with theological insight, with glimpses of the confidence, acceptance and resolution with which Jesus embraced his life and his death. And right here, the hope of the resurrection begins lacing its way in and around the narrative – right from the very beginning of the book.

Yes! Even as we wander our way through these 40 days and 6 Sundays of wilderness travel, let us never lose sight of that gaping hole in the earth!

Because…
     It is the resurrection that makes our faith vibrate.
     It is the resurrection that promises us a forever future.
     It is the resurrection that anchors us all –
          suspicious-religious-types,
          feckless-disciple-types,
          21st-century-struggler types.
     It is the resurrection that anchors us all in
          hope fulfilled,
               promises kept,
                    healing and wholeness and salvation delivered.

_______

Resurrected Christ, Great Heart and Hope of our universe, even as we wrestle with our own weakness, doubt, lack of understanding, dogmatism, addiction to forms and shadows rather than the simple Truth – point us to the empty tomb as well as the cross, remind us that you are LORD as well as friend, that you hate hypocrisy as well as love little children. Help us to see all of who you are – or at least as much ‘all’ as you think we can handle. Amen.

Click here for day one of this series and an explanation of what it’s all about.

Filed Under: biblical reflection, Lenten Journey, Wonderings in the Word

Remembering with Gratitude: A Life Well-Lived

March 10, 2012 By Diana

Abbot David Nicholas Geraets, OSB
March 4, 1935-March 2, 2012

Entered St. Benedict’s Abbey, Benet Lake Wisconsin
Made monastic profession – September 1, 1957
Ordained to the priesthood – September 29, 1962
Baptized by the Holy Spirit – November 1967 and began
ministry to the charismatic renewal.
Elected First Abbot of Pecos Monastery – April 11, 1973
Abbatial Service – 1973-1992
Conventual Prior in San Luis Obispo 1992-2012

I’m fumbling around for the right earrings.

Packing an overnight bag for a short trip.

My fingers trip and tangle,

the jewelry falls on the counter,

and I feel the tears behind my eyes.

Looking up into the mirror,

I ask myself:

“What does one wear to a wake?

To a Resurrection Mass for a priest,

an abbot,

a mentor,

a friend?

What do I wear?”

And the answer comes,

“Wear your heart.”

And I pack it right up,

lay it in the suitcase,

next to the small jewelry box,

the St. Benedict medal on its chain,

the clear colors he always noticed,

the small, ordinary pieces of an everyday life.

Because that’s all I’ve got, isn’t it?

This heart full of memories,

of words heard and received,

of sweet smiles and heartfelt prayers and gentle marks of the cross.

We drive north,

this drive we’ve taken together for almost two years now.

Ever since my health scare and hospitalization in May of 2010, my husband has chosen to make this trip with me each month.

He takes long walks up and down the steep driveway of the monastery while I sit in the Holy Spirit House with the abbot.

We’ve both come to love this day-long venture together.

And I wonder as the wheels turn and the miles slide by,

will this be the last time?

And I wonder,

is this really why we’re going today?

To say good-bye?

We choose to stay overnight at the coast,

15 minutes from the mortuary and the church.

A good, good choice for us ocean people.

Just walking on the bluffs in the warm wind,

it blows courage into our souls.

We get there early,

the mortuary where the vigil will be held.

Because that, I learn, is what a monastic wake is all about.

It’s a time for call and response singing and reading,

for sharing memories and stories,

for keeping vigil with one another

on the eve of the final good-bye.

A short, strong nun leads the sung part of our prayer time.

And she is gifted, so gifted.

Gracious, confident, calling us to join the song with the lifting of her arms.

I relax into the music, letting the Spirit sink deep.

The brothers read lines from St. Gregory about St. Benedict.

We sing the “Sucsipe” – the song sung by every Benedictine priest at the time of vows and renewal of vows:

“Receive me, O Lord,

as you have promised

and I shall live.

Do not disappoint me in my hope.”

Can I just tell you how deeply

and strongly

my soul and spirit resonate with this kind of worship?

Simple melodies,

heartfelt words,

the ability to be silent without tension.

Too many churches in my life do not know how to do silence. At all.

These warmhearted, generous Catholic friends?

They know how.

And the next day, it is the same.

This time a formal Resurrection Mass,

complete with the presiding Bishop of the diocese and a trailing line of priests from all kinds of places,

sitting together, joining their voices throughout the litany.

“A motley crew,” the bishop named them.

And they are that.

But I think perhaps these are a brave crew, too.

Standing and singing and praying together for a departed friend.

The same nun leads the singing, serving as cantor extraordinaire.

The scriptures are chosen from those David loved –

the Shepherd’s psalm

(which we sing and I am undone, just undone),

Habakkuk 3 – the vision will come…wait for it

Revelation 21 – behold, I make all things new…

John 3 – unless you be born from above…

And his friend and partner in work,

Father Ray Roh preaches a magnificent memorial sermon.

I am blessed, grateful, aware that this was not an easy task to take.

Communion is moving, as it always is.

All stand, in prayer and attention, until each person is served.

And we sing, we sing.

New to this world of Catholic gatherings,

we assumed a 2:00 service would be followed by a reception of desserts, to which we happily contributed a big bowl of beautiful fresh berries and some cookie bars.

Oh, no.

A full lunch spread – gorgeous and yummy looking.

Except, of course, we had eaten lunch.

So we watched and listened and felt the love vibrating throughout the Parish Hall.

And then we washed out our bowl,

loaded the car

and headed home.

Encouraged, exhausted, fed.

Grateful, grieving, content in a strange and satisfying way.

We are left marveling that we

never knew such richness existed in this Catholic space,

that we were so narrow in our view of life,

of worship,

of God.

And the simple, haunting melody of that psalm,

that’s what we each remembered,

that’s what we continue to draw on.

Here is a YouTube version of Marty Haugen’s beautiful liturgical rendition of Psalm 23.

The response comes first – to teach the congregation.

Then the verses, followed by the response each time.

Watch, savor, listen, SING:

All I can say,

all I can sing,

all I can pray is
THANK YOU, LORD.

THANK YOU.

We’re heading out of town for a while in the morning. I hope to have a chance to link this with Michelle at “Graceful” and with Jen at “Finding Heaven.” But I’ll publish it now and link to it on Facebook in case I can’t find reliable internet service while we’re away.

Thanks to so many of you for your kind words, your support and encouragement and your prayers. Oh, most definitely, your prayers.
I also tagged onto both Laura’s this week – Barkat at “Seedlings in Stone,” and Boggess at “The Wellspring,” and at Ann Voskamp’s Wednesday round-up. And today, I’ll tag in at Bonnie’s place as she’s taking six weeks off to finish her book! And at “Journey to Ephiphany,” who has so kindly taken on Emily Weirenga’s weekly log-in:

Filed Under: grief, hope, memoir, personal journey, Spiritual Direction, Sunday Reflections, Travel

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to Calvary – Day SIXTEEN

March 10, 2012 By Diana

Mark 5:1-10, Today’s New International Version

They went across the lake to the region of the Gerasenes. When Jesus got out of the boat, a man with an evil spirit came from the tombs to meet him. This man lived in the tombs, and no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain. For he had often been chained hand and foot, but he tore the chains apart and broke the irons on his feet. No one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and in the hills he would cry out and cut himself with stones.

When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of him. He shouted at the top of his voice, “What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In God’s name don’t torture me!” For Jesus had said to him, “Come out of this man, you evil spirit!”

Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?”

“My name is Legion,” he replied, “for we are many.” And he begged Jesus again and again not to send them out of the area.

A large herd of pigs was feeding on the nearby hillside. The demons begged Jesus, “Send us among the pigs; allow us to go into them.” He gave them permission, and the evil spirits came out and went into the pigs. The herd, about two thousand in number, rushed down the steep bank into the lake and were drowned.

Those tending the pigs ran off and reported this in the town and countryside, and the people went out to see what had happened. When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people what had happened to the demon-possessed man—and told about the pigs as well. Then the people began to plead with Jesus to leave their region.

As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your own people and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.

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Lent is a good time for confronting demons.

And here’s the thing about demons – they’re tenacious, they’re manipulative, and they’re scary as hell. Literally.

We might tend to read this story through our 21st century, western cultural eyes. We might want to think that the days of literal demons are behind us.

Maybe.

But I think the powers of evil have found lots and lots of new ones with which to entangle us, to ensnare us, to hiss and snarl and sweet-talk us away from the Truth.

I have a few that I do battle with, sometimes until I feel exhausted and exposed, just like this wild man on the edges of town. How about you?

Do you think maybe you’re ready? Ready to do a little confrontational work?

Perhaps the language of the psychologists might be helpful as we confront the things that demonize us in this time and place:

Addiction.

Anger.

Anxiety.

Attachment.

Compulsion.

Control issues.

Egocentric ego.

Fear/phobia.

Family of origin issues.

Narcissism.

Insecurity.

Perfectionism.

“I have met the enemy and s/he lives inside my head.”

So said the very wise father of a friend of mine, and I think he nailed it.

Because everybody does battle with several of the personal demons on this list – and all of them hit us hardest where we spend about 99% of our time – inside our own heads.

But then, just like the Gerasene demoniac, these demons inside our heads break through, frightening us and the people we live with, too often leaving us isolated, ‘crying out and cutting ourselves with stones.’

So, I ask you today:

If Jesus were to stand in front of the naked, quivering you and say, “What is your name?”

Who do you think would answer?

Do you believe that Jesus has
the authority,

the will and

the power to release you from the grip

of whatever it is that holds you?

Do you trust him…

to do what is best for you,

     to clear out the things that hold you captive,
using whatever means will be most effective – from
   scripture to
               prayer to
               psychological or pastoral counseling to
               healthy eating to
   regular exercise to
               the good words of friends to
               a 12-step program?

Do you believe that Jesus is able to

help you to find new clothes,

seat you at his feet as a true disciple,

invite you to be a witness to his goodness?

Lent invites us to do exactly that:
     to trust this time in the wilderness with Jesus,
          or more accurately –
     to trust this Jesus in the wilderness
          with all of who we are and
          to invite him to make some deep changes in us.

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I’ll admit, Lord, that I find this picture of you both captivating and terrifying. I so want to trust you, to hear you tell the things that hold me, “Get the heck outta here!” But these demons are so familiar to me, and I am so dang scared of change. Help me to trust in your goodness, to recognize your authority over the things that isolate me, to open myself to the life-changing work you want to do in me and through me. For your sake, Lord. And for mine, too.

Click here for day one of this series and an explanation of what it’s all about.

Filed Under: biblical reflection, Lenten Journey, Wonderings in the Word

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to the Cross – Day FIFTEEN

March 9, 2012 By Diana

Genesis 43:1-15, The New Living Translation

But the famine continued to ravage the land of Canaan. When the grain they had brought from Egypt was almost gone, Jacob said to his sons, “Go back and buy us a little more food.”

But Judah said, “The man was serious when he warned us, ‘You won’t see my face again unless your brother is with you.’ If you send Benjamin with us, we will go down and buy more food. But if you don’t let Benjamin go, we won’t go either. Remember, the man said, ‘You won’t see my face again unless your brother is with you.’”

“Why were you so cruel to me?” Jacob moaned. “Why did you tell him you had another brother?”

“The man kept asking us questions about our family,” they replied. “He asked, ‘Is your father still alive? Do you have another brother?’ So we answered his questions. How could we know he would say, ‘Bring your brother down here’?”

Judah said to his father, “Send the boy with me, and we will be on our way. Otherwise we will all die of starvation—and not only we, but you and our little ones. I personally guarantee his safety. You may hold me responsible if I don’t bring him back to you. Then let me bear the blame forever. If we hadn’t wasted all this time, we could have gone and returned twice by now.”

So their father, Jacob, finally said to them, “If it can’t be avoided, then at least do this. Pack your bags with the best products of this land. Take them down to the man as gifts—balm, honey, gum, aromatic resin, pistachio nuts, and almonds. Also take double the money that was put back in your sacks, as it was probably someone’s mistake. Then take your brother, and go back to the man. May God Almighty give you mercy as you go before the man, so that he will release Simeon and let Benjamin return. But if I must lose my children, so be it.”

So the men packed Jacob’s gifts and double the money and headed off with Benjamin. They finally arrived in Egypt and presented themselves to Joseph.

_______

I love this conversation.

It gives me glimpses of hope that all is not lost when I dream of somehow, someday, overcoming my own personal flaws and peccadilloes.

These two men are a mixed up mess of human emotions – greed, jealousy, rage, self-pity, entitlement – all tossed together with loyalty, commitment, love, concern.

Jacob is still the frightened, non-favored twin, convinced that the world is against him.

Judah is still the manipulator extraordinaire, bargaining with the lives of his brothers.

But…

Jacob is ALSO the father who sees reason, who relaxes into the future, basically leaving to the sovereignty of God the life or death of his sons (with just a little generosity to help grease the wheels).

And Judah is ALSO the one willing to be the scapegoat, assuming full responsibility for this very scary trip to Egypt, offering himself as the one to bear both the shame and the blame.

What brings me hope in this vignette is that each of these rascals is a picture of transformation at work. They are not always messes. In fact, they are in the process of becoming less messy as this story unfolds.

Each of them still carries their early wounds and attachments – but…they are also each becoming someone different, someone more.

We’ll look in on this story a few more times during our Lenten journey together and we’ll find other pictures of this wonderful double truth: we are who we are – for good and for ill — and we are also who we are becoming, by God’s grace at work within us.

Hang onto that!

And see if this quote helps you do that:
“This is the way that God seduces us all into the economy of grace—by loving us in spite of ourselves in the very places where we cannot, or will not, or dare not love ourselves. God shocks and stuns us into love. God does not love us if we change; God loves us so that we can change.”
– Richard Rohr

_______

Sovereign God, you are the only one who can change us from the inside out. So, as this climb to the cross continues, give us eyes to see you at work within us, even as we see the changes in Jacob and Judah. Thank you that you never give up – even when we sometimes do! Guide us into becoming ever more completely that person you see in us, the one who bears a strong family resemblance to Jesus himself. Amen.

Click here for day one of this series and an explanation of what it’s all about.

Filed Under: biblical reflection, Lenten Journey, Wonderings in the Word

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to the Cross – Day FOURTEEN

March 8, 2012 By Diana

Mark 4:21-34, New Living Translation

Then Jesus asked them, “Would anyone light a lamp and then put it under a basket or under a bed? Of course not! A lamp is placed on a stand, where its light will shine. For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”

Then he added, “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given—and you will receive even more. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”

Jesus also said, “The Kingdom of God is like a farmer who scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, while he’s asleep or awake, the seed sprouts and grows, but he does not understand how it happens. The earth produces the crops on its own. First a leaf blade pushes through, then the heads of wheat are formed, and finally the grain ripens. And as soon as the grain is ready, the farmer comes and harvests it with a sickle, for the harvest time has come.”

Jesus said, “How can I describe the Kingdom of God? What story should I use to illustrate it? It is like a mustard seed planted in the ground. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of all garden plants; it grows long branches, and birds can make nests in its shade.”

Jesus used many similar stories and illustrations to teach the people as much as they could understand. In fact, in his public ministry he never taught without using parables; but afterward, when he was alone with his disciples, he explained everything to them.

_______

“Lent is a call to renew a commitment grown dull, perhaps,

by a life more marked by routine than by reflection.

After a lifetime of mundane regularity

or unconsidered adherence to the trappings of faith,

Lent requires me, as a Christian, to stop for awhile,

to reflect again on what is going on in me.

I am challenged again to decide whether I, myself,

do truly believe that Jesus is the Christ –

and if I believe,

whether I will live accordingly

when I can no longer hear the song of angels in my life

and the star of Bethlehem has grown dim for me.

Lent is not a ritual.

It is a time given to think seriously

about who Jesus is for us,

to renew our faith from the inside out.”

– Joan Chittister

Three short stories.

Three photographs.

Wise words from Sister Joan.

That’s enough for today.

_______

These words are more than enough, Lord – these poem-words from Jesus, the ones that create pictures in our minds, helping us to see things invisible. Thank you for light, for farmers and seeds, for brightly colored weeds in the field – and thank you for using such simple things to teach us about who you are and who we are called to be. And help us to choose – again and again and again – to believe that you are indeed the Christ, come to bring us life. Amen.

Click here for day one of this series and an explanation of what it’s all about.

Filed Under: biblical reflection, Lenten Journey, Wonderings in the Word

A Lenten Journey: Climbing to the Cross – Day THIRTEEN

March 7, 2012 By Diana

Psalm 119:73-96, The Grail Translation

Yod

It was your hands that made me and shaped me;
help me to learn your commands.
Your faithful will see me and rejoice
for I trust in your word.
LORD, I know that your decrees are right,
that you afflicted me justly.
Let your love be ready to console me
by your promise to your servant.
Let your love come and I shall live
for your law is my delight.
Shame the proud who harm me with lies
while I ponder your precepts.
Let your faithful turn to me,
those who know your will.
Let my heart be blameless in your statutes
lest I be ashamed.

Caph

I yearn for your saving help;
I hope in your word.
My eyes yearn to see your promise.
When will you console me?
Though parched and exhausted with waiting
I remember your statutes.
How long must your servant suffer?
When will you judge my foes?
For me the proud have dug pitfalls,
against your law.
Your commands are all true; then help me
when lies oppress me.
They almost made an end of me on earth,
but I kept your precepts.
Because of your love give me life
and I will do your will.

Lamed

Your word, O LORD, for ever
stands firm in the heavens:
your truth lasts from age to age,
like the earth you created.
By your decree it endures to this day;
for all things serve you.
Had your law not been my delight
I would have died in my affliction.
I will never forget your precepts
for with them you give me life.
Save me, for I am yours
since I seek your precepts.
Though the wicked lie in wait to destroy me
yet I ponder your will.
I have seen that all perfection has an end
but your command is boundless.
_______

A song of praise for the beauty and comfort of God’s law, Psalm 119 has one verse for each of the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet.

Today’s lectionary reading carves out three from the middle.

The yearning of these words is almost palpable.
The psalmist yearns
     for God,
          for the orderly beauty of the law,
               for deliverance from enemies,
                    for judgment against those who have hounded him.

Oh, how I love the way all of that is jumbled together in this song.

All the love and angst and pain and anger and desire for vengeance.

I love it because it sounds like…
me.
And probably you, too.

We’re always a mangled up mish-mash of emotions and experiences,
sometimes one thing floating to the fore, sometimes another.

And these three stanzas have bits of a whole lot of that.

Sometimes the singer seems to have an almost magical view of God’s justice – a tit-for-tat kind of thinking.

Sometimes I slide into that pattern myself.
Do you?

Sometimes the song literally cries out for relief, wondering when comfort will come, when the struggle will end.

And I often find myself crying out for the very same things.
Do you?

But over and around and in between the anguish and the anger, this singer has a recurring lyrical theme:
   the goodness of God;
        the beauty of God’s law;
              a deep desire to live out the law day by day,
            whether the day bring victory or defeat,
                 consolation or desolation.

How I want to sing that song!
Do you?

_______

Teach me to sing with the psalmist, O LORD. To pour out my heart honestly – lousy theology and all. To seek your face, your justice, your word. To weave through all my cries a song of joyful praise for who you are and how you have shown yourself to us through the Word – the Word written, and the Word living, even Jesus Christ. Amen.

Click here for day one of this series and an explanation of what it’s all about.