Baby Steps — For SheLoves, March 2017

It must be the second Saturday of the month because I’m live at SheLoves again today! You can start this reflection here and then follow the links over to that good place to join the conversation. Our theme for March is “Be Bold for Change.”

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Several members of our family taking ‘baby steps’ on a hiking trail near Palm Springs last week.

Bold is a great big word. Only four small letters, but oh, my! — such freight. I don’t use it often, to tell you the truth. About 90% of the time, my use of the term is limited to clicking Command-B on my computer keyboard! I seem to be more willing to occasionally make a written word stand out than to actually be bold in my day-to-day life.

In fact, as I thought about writing for this month’s theme, I began to wonder if I have ever been a bold person, someone who steps out and speaks up and makes a change. I know I am not bold physically — I KNOW this. I don’t like high places, I am terminally uncoordinated, any size or shape of sports-ball coming my direction is a source of terror. I have a friend — one of my dearest friends — who is brazenly, maybe even crazily, bold physically. She learned to kite-surf in her 50’s and is now an expert. Last year, she and a friend hiked from the Alps of Switzerland to the shores of the Mediterranean in France. This week, she left for Nepal to climb to the base camp of Mt. Everest. Yes, really. The base camp of Mt. Everest.

Uh, no thank you. Much as I love and admire her, that kind of bold feels cray-cray to me. Just plain c r a z y.

Then I began to broaden my horizons and think about other bold women I have known. I soon realized that there are lots of different ways to step up, to step out, to take a chance, to risk failure, to make a difference. Some of those other bold women are the ones I’ve met here at SheLoves — Idelette, Tina, Kelley, Kathy, Helen, Bev, Erin, Cindy, Claire, Heather, Sarah, Michaela, Bethany — too many to list. Each of them, women who have had the courage to dream and the stick-to-it-ive-ness to realize those dreams — often despite fear, hardship, and loss.

Guess what? There are lots of ways to be bold. And every single one of those ways begins with a single step. One decision. One moment of courage. One instant of recognition that this — this idea, this project, this act of grace, this stand-up-and-be-counted moment — is do-able. These women — and so many others — believed in possibilities and then they walked those possibilities into reality.

Every bold step begins with a baby one. Dramatic change does not happen overnight. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime — even more than a lifetime. Really bold change only happens when lots of different people take lots of different kinds of baby steps, all of them heading in the same direction.

Come on over and read the rest of this piece and tell me about some baby steps of your own, okay?

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Eleven

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Luke 7:1-10

After Jesus had finished all his sayings in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernaum. A centurion there had a slave whom he valued highly, and who was ill and close to death.When he heard about Jesus, he sent some Jewish elders to him, asking him to come and heal his slave. When they came to Jesus, they appealed to him earnestly, saying, “He is worthy of having you do this for him, for he loves our people, and it is he who built our synagogue for us.” And Jesus went with them, but when he was not far from the house, the centurion sent friends to say to him, “Lord, do not trouble yourself, for I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; therefore I did not presume to come to you. But only speak the word, and let my servant be healed. For I also am a man set under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes, and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes, and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and the slave does it.” When Jesus heard this he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd that followed him, he said, “I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith.” When those who had been sent returned to the house, they found the slave in good health.

They were on the way, just walking into town, the town that was kind of headquarters for this traveling band of teacher and learners. Just another day, you know? All of a sudden, the Jewish leaders approach Jesus. Uh-oh, you might think — and you’d have reason to think that, wouldn’t you??

But this particular crowd of Jewish people is very different from so many we read about in the gospels. They are friendly, not adversarial; they bring a request that is legit, not a ‘test’ of some kind. And . . . here is the kicker . . . they speak kindly and positively about a Roman, a Roman soldier, even.

Think about that for a moment. By and large, the relationship between conquered and conquerers has been iffy at best; downright hostile, at worst. Yet here we have the very unique situation of Jewish leaders coming to Jewish Jesus and asking him to consider the request of a Roman centurion.

That is wild and wooly fact number one. Here is number two: this particular Roman centurion is a stellar person, one who has faith in Jesus that goes beyond — well beyond — any faith yet exhibited by a Jewish citizen anywhere. And Jesus recognizes it — you can almost hear the awe in his voice, can’t you?

And almost like a toss-off remark, we are told that the servant in question . . . has been healed.

I think that Roman centurion is gonna be high on the list of folks I’d like to see when I get to heaven. How about you?

Lord, help us to welcome surprise. You took delight in this whole experience, didn’t you? Every detail confounded expectations — and that is a good, good thing. Help us to welcome such confounding, will you, please?

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Ten

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Romans 3:21-31

But now, apart from law, the righteousness of God has been disclosed, and is attested by the law and the prophets, the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction, since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,whom God put forward as a sacrifice of atonement by his blood, effective through faith. He did this to show his righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over the sins previously committed; it was to prove at the present time that he himself is righteous and that he justifies the one who has faith in Jesus.

Then what becomes of boasting? It is excluded. By what law? By that of works? No, but by the law of faith. For we hold that a person is justified by faith apart from works prescribed by the law. Or is God the God of Jews only? Is he not the God of Gentiles also? Yes, of Gentiles also, since God is one; and he will justify the circumcised on the ground of faith and the uncircumcised through that same faith. Do we then overthrow the law by this faith? By no means! On the contrary, we uphold the law.

One of the loveliest — and densest — of all Paul’s writings, this chunk of Romans requires careful reading and lots of reflection. Some of these words are very familiar to those of us raised in the church — maybe too familiar? Do we miss their power because we know them so well?

Do we remember the overarching point of this passage — inclusion? Sometimes, when I look at the church, I wonder. We quote, and re-quote and dredge up for any and all purposes this beautiful little phrase: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” But what about what comes before and after? 

Both places talk about inclusion.

Paul is arguing for us here, friends. He is arguing for the inclusion of Gentile believers into the fellowship of the redeemed. He is telling the Christians at Rome — and all of the billions of us who have read these words since then — that God does not distinguish between people when it comes to salvation. Every single person who chooses — at any point in their lives — to step out into the abyss and say ‘yes’ to the goodness and righteousness of God, most particularly as that goodness and righteousness have been revealed to us in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus the Christ — ANYONE is welcome.

More than welcome, we are justified —  a good, old-fashioned word that most people haven’t a clue about defining. In essence, we are made right. WE ARE LINED UP, against the truest Level in all creation and we are found straight and true.

Each and every one of us — Jew or Gentile, long-time believer or newbie convert, male or female, rich or poor, a ‘good’ person or a lousy one: everyone is folded in. It isn’t the law that saves us — nothing we can do in our own steam is gonna make one whit of difference: only faith.

Not that the law is useless, no, not at all. But the law is redefined, re-situated in the life of the Christ-follower. The law becomes the result, not the cause. The law is transformed into the fruit of the Spirit, in all its nine-edged glory and those who lean into Jesus are declared to be redeemed. Thanks be to God!

Oh, Lord, we can so easily get hung up on behavior, on rules, on who is in and who is out. But you don’t, ever. Remind us that Jesus came for EVERYBODY, not just the good guys, not just the ones who look and live like we do, but all.of.us. By your grace and through your power, help us, O Lord, to do the same.

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Nine

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2 Timothy 1:3-7

 I am grateful to God—whom I worship with a clear conscience, as my ancestors did—when I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. Recalling your tears, I long to see you so that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that lived first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, lives in you. For this reason I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you through the laying on of my hands; for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.

I pray daily that the faith my husband and I share will find its way down through the family tree and take root in the lives of our grandchildren . . . and in their children. This is not something that we can control, of course, but we are pinning our hopes on small passages like this one. 

Timothy had a grandmother who followed Jesus. And a mother. What a legacy! I am immensely grateful for the legacy that I have, on both sides, from my grandparents. And for the legacy that my husband has, on both sides, from his.

Now, we try to keep the line going. To love our littlest ones (and those who are FAR from little, these days!) in the way that Jesus loves them. We do it imperfectly. But we are consciously aware of wanting to do it better and better. 

Lord, hear our prayer. May we, and our children, and our grandchildren, and their children, be found faithful. May we not be afraid of questions, or of theological or ecclesiological differences, but look only for fruit and for faithfulness in these kids that you’ve given us. Help us — always, always, always — to love them as you do. Thank you for each and every one of them. Each and every!

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Eight

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Exodus 34:1-9, 27-28

The Lord said to Moses, “Cut two tablets of stone like the former ones, and I will write on the tablets the words that were on the former tablets, which you broke. Be ready in the morning, and come up in the morning to Mount Sinai and present yourself there to me, on the top of the mountain. No one shall come up with you, and do not let anyone be seen throughout all the mountain; and do not let flocks or herds graze in front of that mountain.” So Moses cut two tablets of stone like the former ones; and he rose early in the morning and went up on Mount Sinai, as the Lord had commanded him, and took in his hand the two tablets of stone. The Lord descended in the cloud and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name, “The Lord.” The Lord passed before him, and proclaimed,

“The Lord, the Lord,
a God merciful and gracious,
slow to anger,
and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness,
keeping steadfast love for the thousandth generation,
forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin,
yet by no means clearing the guilty,
but visiting the iniquity of the parents
upon the children
and the children’s children,
to the third and the fourth generation.”

And Moses quickly bowed his head toward the earth, and worshiped. He said, “If now I have found favor in your sight, O Lord, I pray, let the Lord go with us. Although this is a stiff-necked people, pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for your inheritance.”

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write down these words, for in accordance with these words I have made a covenant with you and with Israel.” Moses was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant—the Ten Commandments.

There is something lovely about this small story, this encounter. Moses and God are both tired out. The people have done it again — gone off the rails, in a big way. Moses is so disgusted by their behavior, that he trashes the tablets upon which God had written the law, the guidebook for their future. Yet God isn’t done with them, no, God is not. 

He invites Moses to come away . . . again. Just Moses, no one else, including animals. And Moses goes, taking two blank stone tablets with him.

Here is what I love: GOD SHOWS UP. And this description is gorgeous. God descends in a cloud and he utters words of such poignant beauty. God tells it like it is: God’s love is ever-lasting — “to the thousandth generation” — but the sins of the people have consequences, consequences for themselves and their children and their children’s children. The consequences last some time, yes. But that time is nothing compared to the ‘thousand generations’ of God’s limitless love and grace. Forgiveness is promised, consequences remain.

I have seen the truth of this in every single pastoral counseling and spiritual direction session I have ever been in. We often need help navigating those dual realities: everlasting forgiveness, and consequences — even, maybe especially, generational consequences — for sin and brokenness. 

Those closing two verses tell us that God and Moses get down to work after this lovely opening salvo. The tablets will be filled again, the law will go out to the people — a gift and a burden.

Truth is like that sometimes.

God of truth, God of love, God of mercy — thank you for keeping steadfast love for us, thank you for walking with us through the consequences of our own sinful behavior, thank you for giving us the guidebook of the law. But thank you  most of all for sending Jesus to help us reinterpret that law and live it more fully and joyfully than ever.

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Seven

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Psalm 32

Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.

Happy are those to whom the LORD imputes no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah

Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah

Therefore let all who are faithful offer prayer to you; at a time of distress, the rush of mighty waters shall not reach them.

You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with glad cries of deliverance. Selah

I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you. Many are the torments of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the LORD.

Be glad in the LORD and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart.

Well, that mule imagery is way too familiar! How often do I want to pull away, to sulk, to avoid acknowledging the myriad ways I fall short of the mark. Yet I have also experienced the ‘steadfast love’ that surrounds ‘those who trust in the LORD.’ That’s the wonder of it all —both things are true.

This is a wonderful psalm, filled with truth, with good news, and with just enough warning to make me pay careful attention. Confession IS good for the soul, the Lord IS a hiding place, rejoicing and gladness DO lighten the heart and the step. 

The harder things noted in this brief song, these are also true, aren’t they? When we turn away from communication with our God, we do ‘waste away,’ and we begin to feel as though God’s hand is ‘heavy,’ sapping our strength as ‘the heat of summer.’  

There is an important contrast being made here, and that contrast is not between Good God and bad god, it is not between loving God and punishing God. The true contrast being described here is what happens within us, the duplicity we all live with, day in and day out. There is always that push/pull for us — desiring God/resisting God. 

This song encourages us to keep letting the better angels win the day.

Almighty God, work into my soul a deep willingness to move with you rather than resist you. Open my heart to the joy of your forgiveness, the warmth of  your acceptance, the power of your encouragement. For Jesus’ sake. Amen.

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Six

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1 Kings 19:1-8

Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life like the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.” Then he was afraid; he got up and fled for his life, and came to Beer-sheba, which belongs to Judah; he left his servant there.

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the broom tree and fell asleep. Suddenly an angel touched him and said to him, “Get up and eat.” He looked, and there at his head was a cake baked on hot stones, and a jar of water. He ate and drank, and lay down again. The angel of the Lord came a second time, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat, otherwise the journey will be too much for you.” He got up, and ate and drank; then he went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mount of God.

Again, with the wilderness — like Jesus, yesterday. And again, with sitting under a plant — Like Jonah a few days ago. All similarities end there, however, don’t they?

This is one of my favorite narratives in all of scripture, this entire story of Elijah’s exhaustion, refreshment, and then his contact with God on the mountain that comes later in this chapter. I SO relate to parts of this story. I think we’ve all met Jezebel somewhere along the way — that person or that circumstance which just topples us, especially when we find ourselves depleted after an intense time of giving out to others. 

Elijah has just left one mountaintop experience — the one where he dueled with the prophets of a foreign god — and is on his way to another, very different one. But in the middle, right here, he is struck down by fear, fear that blooms out of depletion. Ever been there? You work, and you give, you plan and you execute, you dream and you make it happen . . . and you.are.DONE.

That’s where Elijah is in this passage. A vindictive queen has sent a terrifying message and he is clean out of ideas, spent of all energy.

But God sees him. Exactly as he is. And an ‘angel’ arrives, someone bearing gifts. I have no clue what this angel looked like — maybe a passing shepherd, maybe a ‘mountain man,’ who knows? Whoever it was, this being was someone sent directly by the compassionate hand of our God, someone who brought exactly what was needed: food, water and encouragement. Catch that last word there? “Get up and eat, otherwise the journey will be too much for you.” 

There are times when those exact words are the ones I am desperate to hear: take care of yourself, do what is necessary to replenish, plan ahead for the demands that are still coming. Yes, yes, yes.

Thank you, Lord, for being a God who sees, knows and cares. Thank you for seeing our weakness, for loving us in the midst of that weakness, and for helping us to be careful, to be kind to ourselves. Thank you that YOU are kind. 

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Five

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Matthew 4:1-11

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

He fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished.

The tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.”

But he answered, “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”

Then the devil took him to the holy city and placed him on the pinnacle of the temple,saying to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written, ‘He will command his angels concerning you,’ and ‘On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.'”

Jesus said to him, “Again it is written, ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor; and he said to him, “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.”

Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! for it is written, ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.'”

Then the devil left him, and suddenly angels came and waited on him.

Lent isn’t truly Lent without reading this powerful narrative at least once. We meet Wilderness Jesus in this text, Wandering, Solitary Jesus, the Jesus who had just heard from God before entering this wild and desolate place. The one who chose to follow the Spirit’s lead and walk out into that wild, all by himself, nourished only by what happened by the riverside. That place where the love of Father God descended, speaking words of love, praise, and recognition over the Son’s newly baptized body.

Those words were food and drink for our Jesus, exactly what he needed as he stepped out into active ministry, the pathway that would take him to the cross. So if we are going to walk that pathway with him during these 40 days, we must line ourselves up. And Jesus began his journey with this encounter.

We will, too. The Tempter is not imaginary but very, very real. And I can feel his breath as I set aside time to think/pray/write/imagine. He knows our vulnerabilities very well, indeed, even as he knew Jesus’s soft spots. Have you ever thought about that? Jesus chose to be vulnerable, to become human, to experience the siren call of popularity, adulation, power. Right here, right now. in the rocky, dusty landscape of the wild, wild land. I am guessing that these very things — the physical hunger, the psychological hunger, the political hunger — were ever-present sources of temptation for our Lord. But he learned something so true and so strong out there with the rocks. He learned to use God’s word to fight back, to fight off, to turn away. And maybe most important of all, he knew who he was and he refused to let go of that truth. 

Do you know who you are? Whose you are?

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Remind me who I am, whose I am, and keep me centered in that powerful, life-changing truth whenever and wherever temptation shows its ugly, fascinating head. Thank you.

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Four

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Matthew 18:1-7

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

“If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks! Occasions for stumbling are bound to come, but woe to the one by whom the stumbling block comes!

Oh, man, I do not want to be a stumbling block. Ever. Yet, most assuredly, I have been exactly that at points in my life. I look back on my own days of mothering little ones and far too often, I cringe. I am sure I got in the way of my own kids, far too often.

Lord,  have mercy.

And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve asked for ‘eyes to see’ who the little ones around me truly are. That includes the little ones inside me, too. I do believe that one of the most essential parts of ‘growing up’ is acknowledging that we are perpetually little. And that being little is okay. In fact, as we acknowledge our own littleness, as we learn to bring those younger versions of ourselves out into the light of God’s love, healing happens. Deep healing. The kind of healing that changes us from the inside out. The kind of healing that might even change the world, if we let it.

Lord God of the little ones, give me a heart that welcomes the littleness in each person I meet. Remind me that saying, “I don’t know,” or “be careful,” or “are you doing okay?” is one way of making space for littleness. In fact, becoming vulnerable, dependent, increasingly open to joy and beauty — these are ways in which we welcome you. Because it is in welcoming the little that we discover YOU, over and over and over again. 

Heading Home: Walking with Jesus to the Cross — Day Three

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Jonah 4:4-11

But this was very displeasing to Jonah, and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord and said, “O Lord! Is not this what I said while I was still in my own country? That is why I fled to Tarshish at the beginning; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing. And now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” And the Lord said, “Is it right for you to be angry?” Then Jonah went out of the city and sat down east of the city, and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, waiting to see what would become of the city.

The Lord God appointed a bush, and made it come up over Jonah, to give shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort; so Jonah was very happy about the bush. But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the bush, so that it withered. When the sun rose, God prepared a sultry east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint and asked that he might die. He said, “It is better for me to die than to live.”

But God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the bush?” And he said, “Yes, angry enough to die.” Then the Lord said, “You are concerned about the bush, for which you did not labor and which you did not grow; it came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should I not be concerned about Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also many animals?”

“Is it right for you to be angry about the bush?” Ouch. Is it right for any of us to be led by our anger? For me, this is a primary teaching point in the book of Jonah. First, is the expansive grace and inclusion of God. Second, is the misplaced and unrighteous anger we so often carry around with us. 

But here’s the thing: God doesn’t give up on anybody in this beautiful, small story, not even Jonah. Think about it. There is a level of intimacy between these two that is remarkable. And God’s patience, gentleness and calm assurance all along the journey they take together — well, they are nothing short of astounding. 

There is not one thing inherently wrong with anger. In fact, it can often be a gift, stirring us to needed self-protection or action on behalf of others. But anger that moves into the deeper levels of our psyche, that propels us to a live in a constant state of discontent — that kind of anger is corrosive. God, of course, knows this. And God recognizes it in his servant, Jonah.

And God calls him on it. “Is it right for you to be angry . . .?”

Clearly, it is not right. These are the last words in the book. We are not told if Jonah hears and understands what God has said. We are not told if Jonah chooses to release his anger and to receive the love, grace and goodness of God that is offered to anyone and everyone who hears the call and chooses to say ‘yes.’

I wonder what he chose to do, don’t you?

I want to be a friend who says, ‘yes,’ God. I want to release my anger, to rejoice in the generosity you offer to us all. I want to celebrate every single act of repentance and to acknowledge with humility that I don’t know what is best, that I don’t know who is ‘in,’ that I don’t know all that there is to know about YOU. Help me to walk through this season of repentance with openness, gratitude, and with a spirit of joy that goes deep into my bones. Thank you.