personal journey

Tuesday’s Read, Read, Read! (a book review and a synchroblog to celebrate Sarah’s new book!)

November 5, 2013 By Diana

First, the book review:

Every once in a great while, a voice arises that speaks truth in love for an entire generation of Jesus-followers. Sarah Bessey is such a voice. I began reading her blog three years ago, and quickly discovered a Soul Sister. Sarah has the heart of an artist, the skill of a surgeon, and the grace of a dancer when she begins weaving words together. And she has woven them into a masterpiece with this beautiful, heartfelt, lyrical book. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

With a foreword by Rachel Held Evans and a stunning manifesto by Idelette Mcvicker leading the way, Sarah dives into her topic with an extended version of a popular blog post, “A Bonfire on the Shore.” All of us — egalitarians, complementarians, feminists, non-feminists — are invited to join her around that bonfire, to listen to one another in love and to share stories, life lessons, observations, and most especially, questions and answers that we have lived in the everydayness of life as well as wrestled with in our minds. “I want to tell the truth, but first I want to live the Truth,” she says; “I won’t confuse critical thinking with a critical spirit,” she promises.

And then she dives into the whole Big Topic, declaring that yes, she is a feminist — but only because she is following after the ways, words and actions of Jesus, her savior and friend. She is learning from Jesus what it means for each of us to be a human person, whether male or female. Never discounting the differences between men and women, Sarah makes a strong case for her position without alienating those who might disagree with her. She stakes out her place: “Patriarchy is not God’s dream for humanity. It never was; it never will be.” But she leaves room for conversation: “I don’t think God is glorified by tightly crafted arguments wielded as weaponry.”

Telling pieces of her own story all along the way, Sarah looks at the whole of scripture first, most especially at the words and work of Jesus in the gospel narratives, refusing to allow the ‘problematic passages’ to take precedence over what she sees happening in Jesus’ relationship with women. She does this, however, without ever discounting the power and authority of the biblical message. She works hard to sift out the cultural specificities from the timeless truths, always with an attitude of appreciation and respect for the Word of God.

Sarah gives testimony to the partnership she enjoys in her own marriage, making a beautifully strong case for mutual submission. She makes room for single women at the table of full-personhood without diminishing the joy she has found in being married and birthing babies. And she calls the church to open-handed, open-hearted sharing in the work of kingdom living, inviting us to reconsider traditional ‘women’s ministries’ in the light of all that needs doing in the wider world.

This is a joyful book, an honest book, a welcoming book. I don’t know if you will find yourself proudly wearing the, “I am a Jesus feminist” badge when you finish it. I hope so. But I do know that you will be glad you read this book, that you will wrestle with the questions she asks and the stories she tells, and that you will stand up and cheer when you read the opening invitation and the closing benediction. Because Sarah writes truth, with a capital “T” — but she never tells it without love. And YOU, yes, you, are so very welcome here.

I received an advance release digital copy of this fine book from Simon & Schuster Digital Sales, Inc, in exchange for my honest review. This is it – and it is an honor. But I highly recommend that you purchase a hard copy of this one – it needs dog-earring and marking up. I compiled a 7-page document of favorite quotes and ideas, some of which are my own response to Sarah’s thinking in these pages. Now, that’s a good book.

And now, the synchroblog — my own reflections on why I am who I am:

They came streaming down the center aisle on Sunday morning.
Men, women, children.
Students, grandmothers, professors;
building contractors, retirees, babes-in-arms.
Down they came, moving slowly beneath the chandeliers,
bending low over the basket,
taking a morsel of bread
and dipping it into the offered cup.

“The body of Christ, broken for you.”
“The Cup of peace, given for you.”

And, once again, I remembered who I am.

It was All Saints Sunday, a day of remembering.
And we did exactly that.
We re-membered ourselves,
all of us — past and present — in litany,
in prayer, in memory.
The presence of those who led the way
to where we now are was palpable,
breathing out of the wood and stone and stained glass,
echoing in the guitars and piano,
standing right there in the worship center with us,
shoulder to shoulder.

We lit candles to help us remember.
And we thanked God for friends and family
who have left this physical realm,
this place-in-space that only partially reveals the truth of who we are.

And we sang!
Oh, how we sang,
joining our 300 voices with the sound
of saints and angels
around the world and across time,
remembering who we are.

This is our home, these are our people,
this is our song.
I am a woman, yes, I am.
I am glad to be female,
grateful for the power of my body,
the gift of child-bearing,
the ability to nourish.
But I am also a human being.
First and foremost, I am that.
And I am blessed to be part of a community
that celebrates both truths,
that doesn’t hesitate to acknowledge
the ways in which my femaleness
brings wholeness to the image of God
in the midst of the sanctuary.

For the last forty years, this is the truth my husband and I have lived:
we are partners.
We are equal before God.
We bring different gifts and abilities
to our shared table,
but we are, each of us, seen by God for
who we are,
ALL of who we are:
sinful,
broken,
loved,
redeemed by Jesus,
gifted by God,
called and filled by the Holy Spirit,
commanded to love God, others and ourselves,
sent to a world that hungers for grace.
Both of us.
BOTH OF US.

The candles were still gleaming Sunday evening,
as a small group of us gathered to worship Taize style.
Sung prayer, lectio, and once again,
a shared table.

But this time, a litany of silence.
Silence.
Deep enough to hear the bread tear,
quiet enough to hear the purplish fluid being poured out,
every last drop.

Dark enough to exhale.
To fully exhale all the worries of the day,
the carbon dioxide of doubt,
the staleness of fatigue.

It is within this context that I can say yes,
I am a Jesus feminist.
In the center of worship,
in the midst of the congregation,
in the place where I am known.

And in that powerful, life-giving truth,
I rejoice!

My deep thanks to those who lead our congregation in worship that is real and rich – Don Johnson, Jon Lemmond and Bob Gross. It is Bob’s voice that you hear, along with his composing and arranging skills, in the Taize songs I have linked in this piece.

I am joining this post with Sarah’s synchroblog, with Michelle’s weekly invitation and with Jennifer’s storytelling.

Filed Under: Book Review, Church, church year, community, Confession, Encouragement, God's gifts, Jesus Feminist, ministry, personal journey, Sunday Reflections, synchro blogs/blog hops, Uncategorized

31 Days of Giving Permission . . . TO TELL YOUR STORY

October 31, 2013 By Diana

And so, we come to the end of these 31 days.
These days of giving/finding/taking permission:
to disconnect,
to learn,
to lean,
to laugh,
to listen,
to lament,
to let loose,
to re-connect,
to sleep, perchance to dream,
to change,
to say no,
to take a break,
to see,
to be seen,
to read, read, read (1)
to dive in deep,
to remember,
to create,
to stop,
to dance,
to imagine,
to read, read, read (2)
to take a day off,
to get angry,
to be outrageous,
to breathe deeply,
to surrender,
to write a psalm,
to read, read, read (3)
to tell the truth,
and now,

TO TELL YOUR STORY.

Because, when it comes right down to it,
that’s our job on this planet:
to tell the story only we can tell.

To speak of the extraordinary ordinary,
to trace the ins and outs of
tedium,
wonder,
suffering,
learning,
unlearning,
wandering,
and being found.

Ah, yes.
That last piece,
that being found.
That unique way in which we link arms
with every other person,
across time and geography,
who has known the love of God.

Because no one else’s story looks like ours.
We know the same God,
we serve the same Savior,
but our stories are our own.

And they need to be told.

So. May I give you permission,
if you need it,
to speak out your life?
To tell the tales that show us the truth?

My own is long and full of twists and turns.
Yours is, too.
But there is a thread that connects them all,
a scarlet thread,
that shimmers in the light,
and whistles in the wind,
and takes every abuse we can hurl at it
as we struggle our way to maturity.

That Thread is strong beyond measure,
tensile, tough, unyielding
and yet so very forgiving.

Right now, the Scarlet Thread of my story
weaves its way along the central California coastline,
and these palm trees mark it out.
These long shadows help me know
who I am,
this mighty sea reminds me
of Whose I am.

And the people I love,
the neighbors I live with,
the work I do —
these are the hooks that hold me
in place and through which
this part of my story is being told.

What about you?
How is your story being told right now?

Filed Under: 31 Day Blogging Challenge, Blogging, Dreams/Dreaming, Encouragement, personal journey, Santa Barbara, Storytelling

31 Days of Giving Permission . . . TO TAKE A DAY OFF

October 23, 2013 By Diana

So, have you ever found a day?
Like a pearl in an oyster,
or a late rose in full bloom?
A day, appearing like a gift before you?

I had such a day yesterday.
A last minute cancellation,
and suddenly —
there it was.
An open day.

Well, I thought.
I could write ahead on my blog posts this day.
OR,
I could get some errand-running done.
OR,
I could start reading blogposts
until I go bleary-eyed.

But I didn’t do any of those things.
I chose to take the day OFF of the things I usually do.

It ended up being quiet, uneventful.
I had laundry to do,
so I did it.
And I actually enjoyed it.
(Sometimes, I’m weird like that.)

And I found a recipe for Crock-Pot Apple Crisp.
My husband thought that sounded swell,
and he set to work carving up our Granny Smiths
while I assembled the rest of the ingredients.
And the house smelled heavenly all afternoon.

I got a little bit caught up on some Tivo’d programs
while I folded laundry.
Felt absolutely decadent, too.

And then I ordered dinner from a restaurant!

Oh, the sweetness.

I had myself a day off.
Off from the usual,
off from driving around,
off from meeting with people,
OFF.

Don’t get me wrong.
I love what I do.

But you know what?

EVERYBODY needs a day off once in a while.

How about you?

Filed Under: 31 Day Blogging Challenge, Blogging, Encouragement, Fun, God's gifts, Marriage, personal journey, Slowing Down

31 Days of Giving Permission to . . . CREATE

October 17, 2013 By Diana

In January of this year, our family gathered to celebrate birthdays. Fully 25% of our current family group was born in that month, and we decided to do something a little bit different to mark this year’s rite of passage.

Did I mention that I have a lot of creative relatives? Well, I do. And the fact that they’re so talented doesn’t intimidate me (most of the time!) — in fact, it encourages and emboldens me. It gives me permission to try a little bit of creativity myself. My daughter, her husband and all three of her sons love to dabble in painting – and their breakfast room looks glorious, decorated with their own work.

So for this birthday gathering, we all came to their house. Taking our inspiration from the art work surrounding us (while the men and children played and watched games), the women gathered around the sewing machine.

I had almost forgotten there is such a thing as a sewing machine. When we moved to Santa Barbara, I packed mine away and haven’t threaded a needle in almost 17 years! But my daughter has one, another daughter and I bought fabric. I found some feed corn, my daughter-in-law helped us measure, and we set to work.

Our project? Making corn bags! Do you know what those are? Soft flannel pockets that contain kernels of feed corn, which you pop in the microwave for two minutes and then apply to any body part that needs a little soothing heat. Perfect for fall and winter days and nights!

We had so much fun! Why? Because it is fun to make something together – something that is pretty to look at, easy to handle and has such a wonderfully restorative and practical function. We made enough for every family unit to take home two or three bags each.

And mine have gotten a real work-out ever since!

And when it came time to celebrate those birthdays? We ALL enjoyed the creativity of our daughter’s youngest son. Joel, age 14 at the time, made this scrumptious and beautiful cake from a recipe in a baking book I’d given him for Christmas. And friends, it tasted even better than it looked.

In the home in which I grew up, my dad was the admired creative genius — he played the piano exquisitely well. My mom was a talented decorator, seamstress and floral arranger. I, however, did not quite fit into that circle of creativity and felt inadequate and unsuccessful at every creative endeavor I tried.

Until I left home.

In college, I tried my hand at some homemade Mother’s Day cards and began to play the piano for my own enjoyment. I gave myself permission to try things and ‘fail.’ But here’s what I learned — if you try it at all, you automatically WIN. I discovered that the joy is in the process even if the finished product doesn’t quite measure up to expectations. I also learned that the more I did it, the better I got. No, I never reached the status of ‘artist.’ I found something even better — the fun of creating.

And I am delighted to observe that my kids and grandkids do this naturally and well, in all kinds of ways. From photography to baking, from piano playing to imaginative play — they all create. For the joy of it, just that. For the joy of it.

Filed Under: 31 Day Blogging Challenge, Beauty, birthdays, Blogging, Creativity, Encouragement, family, Fun, Grandparenting, personal journey, Santa Barbara, The Grandkids

31 Days of Giving Permission to . . . DIVE IN DEEP

October 16, 2013 By Diana

When the water is deep,
and we feel tiny,
it’s scary to take the leap, isn’t it?

But, oh! It’s worth it!
To feel the cool water whooshing around us,
to hear our parents and grandparents on the sidelines,
cheering us on,
to know the exhilaration of moving through the fear.

YES!!

There are so many things in this life that are scary,
so many invitations to leap into the deep water,
to take a chance,
to spread our wings,
to dig, dig, dig. . .
and then . . . LET FLY.

And maybe one of the most important places for us to dive in deep
is right into the center of ourselves,
to look and listen and learn
about how we’re wired,
what makes us tick,
what slows us down,
what fouls us up.

Jennifer Dukes Lee is one of my favorite people in blogdom.
She writes her heart and she writes it beautifully.
She encourages people all over the place,
and she tells her story well because she knows her story well.

She invited me over to talk a little bit about writing,
to offer a ‘tip’ of some sort to others.
Well, I’m fresh out of tips, but I do have a lot of life experience.
And I’ve taken this particular leap of which I speak —
I’m still taking it.

The work of self-discovery, self-knowledge – well, it’s never done.
We are always on the journey.

Why don’t you hop on over to her place to read a little bit more about
why I think this particular journey is so important,
why we all need to dive in deep.

You can find her place by clicking right here.

And our girl on the diving board?
Yeah, she took the leap!
And we all cheered.

Filed Under: 31 Day Blogging Challenge, Blogging, Encouragement, family, Fun, Grandparenting, Guest Post, personal journey, The Grandkids

31 Days of Giving Permission . . . to SLEEP, perchance to DREAM

October 9, 2013 By Diana

SO . . . I may be putting that re-connection thing on hold for another day.
Because I am tired.
GOOD tired, but tired, nonetheless.

And I do believe in sleep,
yes, I do.
Even though I am a night-owl,
even though I have trouble getting to sleep at night,
even though I wish I didn’t need quite so much of it,
quite so often as I do,
I believe in sleep.

Sleep is where some of the most important work of our lives is done.
Our bodies heal and rest,
our spirits quiet themselves,
and our minds and hearts?

Well, they become a working canvas for the Holy Spirit,
the place where dreams happen,
where God helps us work through things
in ways that are unique to us,
yet shared by people around the globe.

Have you ever kept a dream journal?

I highly recommend it,
especially when you’re going through a time of transition,
stress, or grief.
Just jot down the basics –
what you were feeling during the dream,
what happened,
who was there.
Try to give it a title, if you can.
Then take that journal note to prayer,
during your daily time, whenever you manage to squeeze that in.

Remember that 95+% or the people in our dreams
are pieces of ourselves.
So, if you recognize someone,
ask yourself which part of yourself you see
in that person.

You might begin to have clarity about
an upcoming decision,
or a tension you’ve been carrying,
or a puzzle you’re working out.

Sleep is good.
Dreams are even better.

Give yourself permission to dream a little!

Filed Under: 31 Day Blogging Challenge, Blogging, daily devo, Dreams/Dreaming, Encouragement, God's gifts, personal journey

31 Days of Giving Permission . . . to RE-CONNECT

October 8, 2013 By Diana

Today, we are traveling from this . . .

to this.

We’re winging our way home after two weeks on the road in New England.
And that followed four weeks on Kauai.
And that followed two weeks on the Elbe River.
And that (for me) followed one long weekend in Lincoln, Nebraska
with the amazing #JTreat team.

It’s been a year of airplanes and rental cars for me.
And each time, I’ve had to dis-connect when I leave,
and re-connect when I return home.

And I’m not just talking about social media here,
I’m talking about life.
Everyday life.
In my home, in my church, in my family.

There is an adjustment period,
increasingly short as the years add up,
every time I return to our home after an absence.

The mail, the bills, the grocery shopping, the laundry.
The family dinners, the visits with my mom,
the committees at church, the directees I meet with each month.

And this place, too.
When I’m at home, this space is somehow
more comfortable and more accessible to me.
My heart is easier to reach,
I have more quiet time and quiet space.

And I am given the wonderful gift of signing on again,
of opening these pages and feeling at home here.

I’m grateful for that.
And I’m grateful for you,
the faithful friends who stop in here and read,
sometimes leave comments,
even occasionally engage me in conversation
about what I’ve written here.

I am grateful.
And I look forward to being at home for a long stretch.
I look forward to re-connecting.

Where do you need to re-connect right now?
Is that a good thing or a hard thing?

Filed Under: 31 Day Blogging Challenge, community, daily devo, Encouragement, family, Home, personal journey, Santa Barbara, Spiritual Direction, Writing

31 Days of Giving Permission . . . to LET LOOSE

October 7, 2013 By Diana

Some days just cry out for a little drama.
A little laughter, a little (or a lot) of silliness,
a willingness to let go of. . .
troubles,
worries,
inhibitions,
fears,
shyness,
self-consciousness,
sadness.

Because, you know what?

LIFE IS SHORT.

No matter how long your life may be,
it is, in the scheme of things,
SHORT.

And at places along the way,
it’s really important
to let loose of all that constrains us,
to ignore expectations,
to sink into our humanity
with abandon and relief.

We don’t have the answers to
life’s hard questions.
We don’t know what’s coming tomorrow.
We can’t ‘fix’ anyone,
even though we might,
on occasion, be helpful and empathetic.

Heck,
we can’t even fix ourselves, can we?

So every once in a while,
letting loose
helps us to remember all these truths,
and laugh in the face of them.

May you find the space to let loose today, friends.

I believe it is pleasing to God when we
let go of our ever-lovin’ need to be
correct,
proper,
in control,
measured.

We are creatures, after all.
And some days, it is good to relax into that wonderful truth.

Filed Under: 31 Day Blogging Challenge, Blogging, daily devo, personal journey

31 Days of Giving Permission . . . to LAUGH

October 4, 2013 By Diana

So . . . I have this really huge laugh.
It’s embarrassing – just ask my kids or my husband.
I love to laugh, I need to laugh,
but sometimes, I’m too inhibited to really let ‘er rip, you know?

When I’ve had too many days like that,
I need to find a child to be with.

Please bear in mind that I am not a ‘kid’ person.
I adore my children and their children.
And anybody’s baby is fair game, in my book.

But small kids?
I tend to smile benignly . . . from a distance.
When they get a little older,
I’m all in, fascinated by the conversations,
interested in what interests them,
delighted to know who they’re becoming.

And yet, I’ll say it again — it is the little ones
that I need to be with when I find I am
getting a little too full of myself,
or am a little too unwilling to play the fool.

Because the truth is this:
I AM a fool — in a very good way, I hope.
I’m not the fool that the book of Proverbs warns against,
the one who refuses to ‘fear the Lord.’

But I AM the fool who loves a good giggle,
who enjoys good jokes, good writing, good company.

Despite that truth, there are times when
I need to give myself permission to
really, truly LAUGH.

A few weeks ago, I went to Grandparent’s Day at our littlest girl’s school.
Dick had a meeting, so it was just Nana for this event,
which is a rare thing in and of itself.
Because my husband, you see, is a child’s dream come true.
He truly gets them,
he loves them, he volunteers to work
with Lilly’s class of 15 one full day each week.

The man is a saint, I tell you, a saint.

But this day, it was my turn.

And, my stars, did I have fun.

Because, this girl?

This girl — she knows how to have fun. Yes, she does.

All I had to do was be her shadow for a couple of hours,
and I felt better about myself, about the world, about life.

I even got on a swing, for the first time in years!
I didn’t stay on the swing for very long . . .
because, you know, there were all those adults around . . .
but I swung myself up and back a few times and leaned my head back,
and I laughed out loud.

I have written, and will write again in this very series,
about the need for lament, for tears, for letting
the fullness of our grief up to the surface and out.

But today, I want to encourage you to LAUGH.

To smile, giggle, chuckle, guffaw — to let the joy of life
seep through you and then leak out into the world
around you, wherever you may be.

Because laughter is good medicine,
it brings relief and release and joy.

Try it!! You’ll like it.

Filed Under: 31 Day Blogging Challenge, Beauty, Blogging, daily devo, Encouragement, family, Fun, Grandparenting, hope, personal journey, The Grandkids, Uncategorized

The 31 Day Challenge!

September 30, 2013 By Diana

. . . to disconnect

It’s been quiet here the last week or so.
And there’s a good reason for that.

I’m traveling right now,
a combination of business, pleasure,
and commitment.
There was no room for writing in this space,
not any way I sliced it,
so I gave myself permission to . . .

disconnect

for a few days.
Not forever, and not from everything,
but from here, for now.

And you know what?
That simple act sparked something in me,
something which I’m going to be talking about
for the next 31 days, right here.

I’ll be talking about giving permission to . . .

ourselves.

Permission to do new things,
familiar things,
scary things,
easy things,
unusual things,
usual things,
startling things,
ordinary things,
things that we too often either
forget,
delay,
ignore,
hide,
or deny.

Things that move us out of our rut,
or snap us out of our mood,
or force us out of hiding.
Things that add dimension to life,
that bring fullness,
variety,
intrigue,
maybe even transformation.

Are you interested?

Well then, just check in each day of October.
There will be a new topic everyday.
Some days there will be a lot of words,
some, not so many.
There will usually be a photo or two,
there will be room to laugh, cry,
sing, dance, doubt, lament, rejoice.

Because that’s who we are,
who we’re designed to be,
who we’re meant to be.

Whole.
Interesting and interested.
Curious and open,
attentive, inventive,
creative and responsive.

So let’s start with disconnecting, shall we?

Take a break from one thing this week.
I don’t care what it is – something that gives you
just a squinch more breathing room in your day,
something that opens up a crack for fresh air,
fresh thinking, maybe even soul searching.

Are you up for it?

Tell me your one thing – put it in the comments.
Maybe that way, you’ll actually make that space in your day,
that tiny space. . . just to breathe in, to breathe deep.

Signing on with The Nester for the 2nd year in a row. Come on over and see the hundreds of others who will be enjoying this fun (and challenging) experiment.

Every day? For 31 days in a row?
I must be nuts
But you knew that, right?