The Pulse of a Church: Faithfulness

 Yesterday was one of those days for me.
One of those puzzle-clicking days,
when the pieces come together
and lock into place,
creating a picture that is both
recognizable and beautiful.
 It’s taken about 24 hours for me to begin to see
how that happened in my heart, in my spirit.
And I’m not sure that I can find the words to tell you about it.
This much I know.
It wasn’t about the building,
although I love that place
and am grateful for every inch of it.
 It wasn’t even about the worship service,
although some pieces of that service helped
the picture to come together with focus and intention.
Mostly, it was about the people.
ALL the people of the long, interesting,
sometimes exhausting day that was yesterday. 

Our pastor is back from vacation and that’s a good thing.
And he brought a word that he’d been pondering 
for many weeks.
And that’s a good thing, too.
And part of that word was definitely a piece
of the lovely jigsaw that has been coming to life in my heart.
Reflecting on a brief sojourn in Egypt,
he said this about the Christians he met there:
“The future depends on their faithfulness.”
And I thought – YES!
This is the age-old story of our faith,
this is what Jesus kept saying to us,
in parable and story and miracle. 
This is what God modeled for the people of Israel,
this is what the epistles urge the burgeoning
movement of Christ-lights to remember:
Be faithful, even as God is faithful. 
Learn to listen well, and to do good.
Learn to lean into love.
Learn to care for one another.
Live as though every single thing you do matters
in the Big Picture of life. 
And teach your children all of this.
As I listened to that word, I took a look around me. 

About 275 people were gathered in the same space,
people of all ages, from newborns to folks in their 90’s.
A group of six led us in worship –
a father and his 16-year-old daughter on guitar and vocals,
a pastor’s 16-year-old daughter on vocals,
a professor father and young-adult son on piano and guitar,
a former staff member on bass.
The last number of the opening set was an a capella 
version of, “Down to the River to Pray,”
and when those two young women
and two middle-aged men joined their voices
in gorgeous 4-part harmony – 
a small window to heaven opened before me.
And a piece of the puzzle clicked.
Then our Moment for Mission was an interview 
with a son of this church and his gracious, articulate wife.
They gave up lucrative jobs in Orange County to
use their gifts in computer science and music,
working with Wycliffe in Texas.
Their report was wonderful, encouraging, humbling.
And another piece fell into its slot.
I listened to one of the most beautiful prayers 
I’ve heard in months, 
offered by a man who moved here 
about a dozen years ago to retire. 
He has jumped into ministry with both feet – 
music and tutoring and working with our littlest children.
Click.
Then I watched this happen.  
 Every week, the kids are invited to come and sit on the steps,
where the pastor has a special word or project just for them.
Yesterday, this beautiful ‘welcome wagon’ 
was wheeled down the center aisle.
 It was built by hand as an Eagle Scout project – 
and an act of gratitude to the church – 
by a recent high-school graduate, 
a kid I’ve watched grow up since he was three years old.
And then builder and pastor and seven little kids
laid hands on that cart, and dedicated it to the
service of the Kingdom of God. 
By now, I’m just beginning to catch a glimpse of the
design taking shape inside my heart.
 
We rushed home from church to welcome our small group,
this month including kids, lunch and swim time.
My husband is 70, Iris is 2, the rest of us fall
somewhere on the spectrum between those two extremes.
We had a grand time together –
sitting in the shade, enjoying one another’s company. 
Two of the women in our group have endured
brain anomalies; two of the families have
weathered tough problems with their kids;
all of us believe that the single greatest task
to which we are called is the care and tending
of faith and faithfulness in ourselves and in our children,
followed closely by serving others in the name of Jesus.
I had to leave our gathering a little early,
and I had to leave for a hard, sad reason.
Another son of our church had recently died,
tragically and too soon.
His mother and dad are among my favorite 
people on this earth – gentle servants who set out
communion month after month,
who greet folks when they arrive on Sundays,
who share themselves quietly and humbly.
I wanted to be there to remember their boy,
to offer words of prayer and committal,
to acknowledge that sometimes,
the circle is broken too early, too early.  
This, too, was a piece of the puzzle –
a darker piece, but an important one.
Last night, and again this morning,
I thought through that entire Sabbath day.
I reflected on the many facets of the picture
taking shape inside my heart,
and I began to see it for the soft yet strong,
slow-growing but sturdy,
sometimes weary but always winsome
picture that it truly is,
and it looks a whole lot like Jesus.
 
Sometimes it is easy to be critical of the church –
I will readily admit to frustration, impatience
and disappointment 
with how slowly things change, 
with how stuck we can sometimes get.
BUT…
Yesterday was a quietly unfolding gift to me,
all of it – 
the lovely stuff and the terribly painful stuff.
It became a deep and personal portrait reminding me that
 faithfulness sometimes looks like this:
the generations standing together,
singing together,
working together,
giving together,
mourning together. 

In fact, I guess I’d say that’s exactly what
faithfulness looks like. 
And it is beautiful.

Joining this tonight with Michelle and Laura,
tomorrow with Jen and Jennifer and Wednesday with Duane:

Quiet for the Weekend: July 6-8, 2012

“My beloved spoke and said to me,
    ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, 
come with me. 
 See! The winter is past;  
the rains are over and gone. 
 Flowers appear on the earth;  
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves is heard in our land. 
 The fig tree forms its early fruit;  
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;  
my beautiful one, come with me.’”
Song of Solomon 2:10-14 (NLT)
It’s summer!
 The flowers are popping,
 the fruit is ripening,
 the fountains are flowing,
 the outside lights are hung in celebration.
 Even the old, tired fence looks happy to see
the sun, the warm air and the pinks and purples of summer blooms.
 And the shyest of our feathered friends peeked out from behind the leaves – even though I did have to shoot through the screen to capture her.
May your weekend be full of light and laughter,
time with family or friends,
and time to sit alone in the afternoon breeze.
God is good, all the time.
But somehow, on a fair summer’s day,
God seems even good-er than usual.
Joining up with Michelle, Sandy and Deidra for their invitations to celebrate
the weekends with a small space of quiet and color. 
 
 

A Guest Post: Window Coverings, Riding the Bus and Growing Up

My friend, David Rupert, has a great series going
this summer – all about first jobs.
He invited me to participate many weeks ago,
and today is the day.
Just a few simple reflections on going to work at age 15,
in retail – selling window coverings, of all things.
My own house today has very few of those – 
because I like to look outside –
but if I had too, I could order drapes with the best of ’em!
Here’s a small sample – for the whole story, please
check out David’s place – it’s a nice place to be:
I’ve had a lot of different jobs in my life – babysitter, lawn-waterer, house-tender, school teacher, stay-at-home-mom, administrative assistant, florist, teaching assistant, staff pastor, curriculum writer and spiritual director. But the year I turned 15, I got my first ‘real’ job. A friend suggested I apply for a position as a retail clerk at a local, family-owned business that sold curtains, draperies and the hardware for hanging them. And I got paid a whopping $1.25/hour. After three years of baby-sitting for thirty-five cents per hour, that sounded like a great idea! I had to apply for a special dispensation from the city government because I was under age, and then, for the next 18 months, I worked every Saturday and all vacation days at Bruce’s Draperies on Orange Street in Glendale, CA. I learned a lot about measuring windows, calculating how much fabric would be needed for custom drapes, and which rods could best bear the weight of which fabric density.

It was boring.

I mean, it was really boring.

But my employers were kind, the customers were gracious – and I got $1.25 per hour!

Here’s the link to David’s house:

A Sacramental Life

It’s a long drive from here to there, about 110 miles.
And I take a similar one every 2-3 weeks to see my mom.
But this past weekend,
I traveled those miles to make a different kind of connection,
one that spans nearly 30 years,
a lot of living, and miles of change in each of our lives.
We enjoyed the sunshine,
we sneaked in an extra chair at a very high-brow establishment 
(just because we could),
we laughed and we talked and we ate. 
Yes, we look a little bit older than the last time we did this.
And yes, there have been some stresses added to each of 
our lives in the months between our last visit and this one.
But what I carry with me into this late evening hour 
is one overarching truth, this bracing reality:
friendship across time is a holy thing,
a sacramental thing,
a gift of God to be savored, 
enjoyed, 
and relished.
I carried the sweetness of our time together all the way home,
through 45 extra minutes of snarled traffic,
fatigue and stiff knees. 
“How wonderful, how beautiful, 
when brothers and sisters get along!
   It’s like costly anointing oil
      flowing down…”
the psalmist wrote.
And the fragrance of our time was indeed,
‘wonderful and beautiful.’ 
This morning brought us back to our community,
gathering in worship to
to hear a beautiful and finely tuned exposition 
of the Word from the pulpit, 
to share in bread and cup. 
There were three relatively small things that
happened today that have stayed with me, 
late into this evening.
Three things that somehow feel woven
of the same cloth as yesterday’s gathering of friends
at a classic old hotel in South Pasadena,
three things that seem
woven of sacramental cloth. 
 
Today, as Pastor Jon stepped into the pulpit,
he did something we’ve never done before.
He asked us to stand, 
to reach out and hold the hand of the person
next to us, even if that person was across the aisle.
Then he said this:
“Doing this probably feels more than a little bit
awkward to you. I’m here to tell you that  
that is exactly the right posture 
for hearing the Word of God.”
And he proceeded to read the text of the 
morning, taken from the book of James. 
And we held each others’ hands 
and we listened to the Word.
We placed ourselves under that Word,
physically, literally and spiritually.
And as the words from that ancient epistle
rolled in gentle waves over our heads,
I could sense the awkwardness dissipating,
the unity and connection between us
taking shape and form and beauty in our midst.
It was a sacramental moment.
 
 At the conclusion of the preached word,
Jon stepped down from the pulpit to the table,
preparing to serve the people of God with
the Bread of Life and the Cup of Salvation.
As he did so, our Pastor to Students joined him.
Jon gently unfolded his 
and placed it around his neck.
And as Lisa came forward, I could see 
that she wore the one she received
at her ordination two years ago.
Together, they prayed over and distributed the
torn bread and cups of purple juice to
an assortment of council members
who brought them to us. 
We are not a ‘formal’ church.
I have never worn my black robe there,
nor has any other member of the pastoral staff.
But somehow, just that small, simple,
act of draping the ‘yolk of Christ’
around their necks, and over their clothes,
added an extra layer of meaning and depth
to this holy moment in the life of our congregation.
It was a sacramental gesture, 
 rich with reminder
that the Table of the Lord is a holy place,
that the food we eat 
and the drink we share
are set apart, 
consecrated, for our nourishment and
encouragement on the way. 

Our children worship with us every week
for part of the service.
But on Communion Sunday,
they are in worship the entire hour.
Sometimes this makes for a noisier congregation,
and that is just fine.
In fact, it is welcome.
Today, after the benediction,
after the postlude,
after most of the congregants streamed out
the back door into the warm California sunshine,
a third small surprise brought brief tears to my eyes.
A small blond boy named Kai
came quietly into our pew as we leaned across it,
talking with some friends we hadn’t seen in a while.
He picked up our used communion cups, 
nodded his head and 
went searching for a few more.
Just a few moments later,
the four of us who were chatting caught a glimpse
of something up front.
Kai and his big sister Ruby were taking a stack of
used communion cups and very carefully
setting them around the rim of
our beautiful, artist-designed glass baptismal font.
“I think,” said our friend,
“that maybe Ruby is doing something
wonderful with the sacraments this morning. 
Maybe even something we’ve not seen before.”
I looked across the sanctuary and gasped a little.
The effect was beautiful –
the glass bowl shimmered,
the empty cups shone,
the sweet girl was so intent and careful with her work.
It was a sacramental act of found art,
a beautiful picture of the Body of Christ
at its very best.
Word and water,
bread and cup,
contemplation and action –
all of it woven together into a beautiful
garment of praise. 
As followers of Jesus,
we are invited into this whole-cloth,
beautifully woven sacramental life.
We are called to live that life as if
every moment is holy,
every person is a saint,
every gesture is an offering,
every common thing is an altar.
Because this is the truth,
the deep, beautiful, holy truth.
THIS life, this one life –
with its joys and its sorrows,
its gifts and its burdens –
it is a sacrament.
Glory be.  
Joining with Michelle, Jennifer, Jennifer, Ann and Duane today for their 
lovely invitations to share what we’re learning, what we’re thankful for,
what surprise us, what Sunday teaches us and how we see the promises of God at work.
Somehow, they all seem pertinent to these scattered recollections today. 
I’ll also tuck it in with Laura and her Playdates with God.

 

Quiet for the Weekend – June 29/30, 2012

“Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
    Who may stand in his holy place?
Those who have clean hands and a pure heart,
    who do not put their trust in an idol
    or swear by a false god.”
Psalm 24:3 TNIV
“For Christ did not enter into a holy place 
made with human hands, 
which was only a copy of the true one in heaven. 
He entered into heaven itself 
to appear now before God on our behalf.
Hebrews 9:24 NLT 
“Certainly work is not always required of a man.
There is such a thing as a sacred idleness –
the cultivation of which is now fearfully neglected.”
 – George MacDonald      
 “People are doubtful and skeptical about the church,
they suspect and dislike the clergy,
they are impatient of theological systems,
but of Jesus Christ,
as he stands out to view in the sacred pages,
as they dimly realize him in their own best selves,
as they catch faint traces of him in the lives of his saints,
they have no other sentiments 
than those of respect and affection.”
Herbert Hensley Henson
19th century Anglican priest

Photos taken at St. Mary’s Retreat House in Santa Barbara CA where I met with Brother Thomas for the first time. He is not Abbot David, but we will enter into a contract for spiritual direction for 8 months and see where God takes us in that time. The setting for these meetings is glorious, one I had never seen and it is right next door to The Old Mission, where I go frequently. Just enjoying this view may be among the richest of the gifts of the next 8 months.

Joining with Sandy and Deidra at their Quiet Spaces for the weekend, with gratitude for each of them:



At the Marina: a Photo Essay

It was a beautiful morning – 
clear skies right from the get-go,
warm sunshine,
gentle breeze. 
A perfect day to treat ourselves to lunch out 
at the local marina.
 
Although boat culture is not our thing,
we love to look at them.
So we took ourselves to a ringside seat,
with a close-up view of hungry starlings 
and brightly blooming hibiscus, 
 and a more distant view of masts and docks.
Dick had his favorite seafood Louis salad,
I had a chicken quesadilla,
and we just sat and breathed for a while,
taking in the spectacular view 
and wondering aloud every so often 
if very many of these boats
before us actually make it out to the open sea.
After lunch, we took a slow amble down the waterfront,
noting how much clearer the water is now,
after a major harbor clean-up a few months back. 

 

We spied one turquoise-bottomed fishing boat 
as it slowly wound its way into the dock.
We stood and watched a bit, as it idled
in the unloading area while we walked 
south along the wooden decking.
There were others out and about, too, 
enjoying the warmth of the sun,
the sound and smell of the water. 
 One of the things I love about our town 
is the juxtaposition of ocean and mountains.
There is always something beautiful and inspirational 
to look at, no matter which direction you face.
 At least two fisherfolk were still out at sea 
(see their empty slips in the picture below?);
we hoped we might be lucky enough to see
at least one of them come in and unload their cargo.
 Sure enough,
a small, 2-person ship –
complete with crow’s nest –
came chugging into view as we walked along the pier.
 These boats are far more interesting to us than the 
luxury cabin cruisers and humongous catamarans  
that dot our marina.
(See that big one in the right-center-rear 
of the picture above?)
Maybe that’s because these small, well-worn boats 
represent the life and livelihood of a dying breed
in these parts – the journeyman fisherman.
Their territory has been impinged upon by 
multiple facts-of-life –
government regulation, most of it necessary;
predatory otters – all of them adorable, but destructive;
over-fishing and diminishing quantities of some of the
Santa Barbara channel stock-in-trade –
abalone and lobsters in particular.
 The white-haired gentleman atop the boat is the captain;
his long-suffering wife is waiting on the dock,
barely visible through the rigging.
There was one other crewman,
middle-aged and about as worn looking as this boat.
 We’d seen scarecrow-owls atop buildings before,
but this was the first time we’d seen one 
on a sea-faring vessel.
 We waited patiently, walking from one of the
weigh-in piers to the other,
noting two grey, covered trashcans on the deck.
What could be inside this time?
 Slowly, the winch raised those grey cans off of the ship
and onto the dock where a scale waited.
These two gentlemen below,
with Chinese last names,
opened some grey trashcans of their own,
taken from the bed of their small pick-up truck.
And then they poured amazing quantities of…
octopi… into them.
 The longer-haired gentlemen switched position
at the exact same moment I clicked the slow-shutter on 
my point-and-shoot camera, so I did not get a
picture of those slimy critters as they swirled into the can.
The buyers snapped on the lids, to protect their precious 
purchase from the vagaries of freeway traffic,
then got into the cab of their truck,
and drove those things back to somebody’s
favorite Chinese restaurant somewhere. 

Just before we headed home,
 we snuck a peek into the local Fish Market
to remind us of what we usually see
when we come here!
 A beautiful selection of fish,
much of it very high-priced –
all of it delicious and fresh, fresh, FRESH.

We may not be part of the boat culture,
but we are most definitely part of the FISH culture.
And we are appreciative of the those who are dedicated and brave enough to gather the fish that we eat from the sea. 
All in all, a lovely summer afternoon.
Joining Michelle and her Graceful Summer invitation each Friday of these summer months: 
 





TSP Book Club: Scared of the Dark

She wanted to play hide and seek.
In the dark.
This child of the light,
who loves to stride and run her way through life,
she wanted to go into the closet,
turn out the light
and, ‘shhh…be quiet,’ 
and hide from her beloved Poppy.
So I picked her up, held her close and shut the closet door.
She turned out the light and urged me to go further in.
Very carefully –
because it was dark in there! –
I backed us up into the furthest corner,
and waited.
“I can’t see you, Nana,” she whispered.
“I know. I can’t see you, either.” 

She wrapped her arms around me a little bit more
tightly, touching her cheek close to mine.

“Your glasses seem scary in the dark, Nana.” 
“I’m sorry, honey. Can you feel them?
They’re just my regular old glasses.
Nothing to be scared of.” 

“They look scary,” and her voice quavered just a little.
  
But here is what she did:
as she got more frightened,
she clung to me ever more tightly.
More kisses,
more strokes,
more nestling. 

We had failed to let Poppy in on the game, 
so he never did come find us.
We turned on the light,
opened the door,
and went back to our usual Wednesday happiness –
tea party, books, lunch, nap.

Later that day, as I thought about that 
sweet moment in the darkness, 
I think I finally began to understand something 
of what Julia Cameron has been trying to teach us
over at the TweetSpeak Poetry Book Club.
For the last six weeks, we’ve been exploring,
“The Artist’s Way: 
A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.”
And I’ve been fighting it hard,
regularly resisting the Morning Pages,
generally keeping myself on the edge of things,
watching curiously while others test these waters.
It feels like the dark to me, you see.
Reaching into the muck that is too often my mind
(especially in the morning),
feels strange; it feels scary.
Yet I find myself resonating with much of what Julia says,
nodding at the need for self-care,
agreeing with her call
to creating space for creativity in my life.
I particularly like this sentence 
from our concluding week’s assignment:
“Creativity is a spiritual practice.” (pg. 182) 
I believe this with my whole heart.
I have encouraged creativity,
 in my kids,
in my home,
in my church,
in my ministry life.

Why, then, am I frightened by this ‘artist’s way?’ 
Maybe because even familiar things can take on 
strange forms and shadows 
when we’re operating in the dark. 
Maybe because I’m not sure what I’ll find if 
I hang out in that dark for very long. 
Maybe because I’ll discover a big
audacious dream in the middle of the muck,
and I’m not sure I can handle that. 
Maybe because I’ve forgotten to cling to what I do know,
to cling to Whom I know,
and to trust that who I am – 
even in the dark – 
is held,
safe,
loved. 
A little more nestling may be required.
Joining with Lyla and the gang over at TweetSpeak, with Emily for her last-for-the-summer Imperfect Prose, with Jennifer at God-Bumps and  Ann’s Wednesday group:

ts book club no border

 
 
 

Quiet for the Weekend-June 23/24, 2012

For now we see only a reflection 
as in a mirror; 
then we shall see face to face. 
Now I know in part; 
then I shall know fully, 
even as I am fully known.” 

1 Corinthians 13:12 

“Maybe the only thing each of us can see is our own shadow.
Carl Jung called this his shadow work. 
He said we never see others. 
Instead we see only aspects of ourselves that fall over them. 
Shadows. Projections. Our associations.
The same way old painters would sit in a tiny dark room 
and trace the image of what stood outside a tiny window, 
in the bright sunlight.
The camera obscura.
Not the exact image, 
but everything reversed or upside down.”
– Chuck Palahniuk

“You can only come to the morning through the shadows.”
– J.R.R. Tolkien
May your weekend be rich
with intimations of heaven,
dear friends,
that place where we will see
each other and ourselves
and our Good God
in truth and beauty.
Joining up with Sandra and Deidra as we all take time to be
a little less busy,
a little more attentive,
a little more centered.
 

Sunny Summer Afternoon: A Photo Essay

Joining with Michelle DeRusha and her invitation to sit and savor summertime. It comes on Fridays and it’s delightful and refreshing. Check it out:
Sunshine today, almost all day long,
a refreshing change after many days of June Gloom.
So I took myself to the beach and then on a walk
around my yard,
and enjoyed the beauties of summer.
‘Tis the season for blue blooms in these parts,
blues of every hue,
with a little pink thrown in for good measure.
Honey bees,
humming birds,
lizards sunning themselves,
swallowtails,
even those with injured wings,
are among the beauties of today.
Join me, won’t you?
And offer thanks to God for the glories of summertime.
 
 

Five Minute Friday: RISK

Five Minute Friday
It’s been a few weeks – and I’ve missed it. Every Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker invites us to stop, drop and write for 5 minutes of unedited thinking on the prompt for the week. It’s a fun community, with lots of participants and lots of takes on each week’s subject. Hop on over and check it out. And then – try it, you’ll like it!
This week’s topic?  RISK
GO:
I asked my mother about love one day. 
“What’s it like, Mom? Is it hard to say, ‘I love you?'”
“Honey,” she said to me. “It’s the scariest three word sentence in the English language.” 
“Why?” I asked, all wide-eyed innocence at age 17, new to the ways of dating and romance.
“Because, sweet girl,” she replied, looking at me with soft eyes, “love is a risk.”
“What?” I exclaimed. “Why is love risky?” 
“When you say ‘I love you’ to another person, you’re giving them a part of your heart. And you can’t know what they’re going to do with your precious self. When you say ‘I love you,’ you risk having your heart broken.”
“Oh,” I sighed. “But tell me, do you think it’s worth the risk?”
“Oh.My.Yes. It is worth the risk.” 
She turned me to face her, touching each shoulder and looking me right in the eyes. 
“To love another human person is just about the biggest risk there is, honey. But – and this is so hard for me to say because I love you so much and I never want you to be hurt – but . . . to live your life without love is far worse than a broken heart. It is better to explore the feelings, to say them out loud and to bear the pain of rejection than to never allow yourself to love. Do you believe me about this?”
With a very deep sigh, and a bit of a shudder, too, I answered, “Yeah, Mom. I do believe you. But I feel sorta shaky inside. And really scared.”
“It’s okay to be scared. It’s not okay to never risk being hurt.”
STOP  
I have NO CLUE why this one came pouring out today. This was a conversation that happened 50 years ago. FIFTY.