31 Days of Looking for the Little: Bright Spots

 

IMG_4265 geraniums on balcony

I try to take my mom out to lunch about once each week. She lives ten minutes from us, in a lovely dementia care assisted living unit that is part of a much larger, 3-stage retirement community.

I pick her up, find her pink sun visor, and we begin our S L O W walk outside, up the elevator and down the long, covered, outdoor corridor to the new Life Center building.

Inside is a wonderful cafe, with a brick oven for fresh pizza, and a nice selection of sandwiches and salads. Her favorites are the cheeseburger and cheese pizza. Sometimes a hot dog.

These lunchtimes are a very mixed experience. It’s lovely to just sit with her in the outdoor, covered patio. We enjoy the food and each other’s company. But when she tries to make conversation, it can get dicey. She finds it harder and harder to tell me what she’s thinking. And she knows it. Sometimes when she’s struggling — and there is no way I can help her as I don’t know where she’s headed — I find my eyes wandering.

And these bright pink geraniums on a nearby second-story balcony are often what I choose to focus on. Why? Because they’re bright and beautiful, a reminder that life is good and rich as well as difficult and painful. 

Somehow, they always make me feel better. Then I can give Mom my full attention, tell her how sorry I am that it’s such a struggle for her, and together, we find our way to another quiet space. 

Where do you need a spot of brightness in your life these days?

Just Wondering

31 Days of Looking for the Little: Small Books

IMG_4253 Patricia's book

I’ve just come through a long spell of recuperation and forced rest. As I’ve said lots of places, it ain’t been easy. In fact, it’s been one of the hardest pieces of my story in recent years. 

For many of those long days, I didn’t have the emotional capacity or the mental stamina for doing much. But I still needed some small spot of beauty nearby. And I found it in lots of surprising places.

One of those places was in this small book, written by Robbi Cary and photographed by my friend, Patricia Hunter. If you’ve never taken yourself over to Patricia’s blog, I encourage you to do so ASAP. She takes some of the most glorious pictures to be found out here in cyberspace, and this small volume has a collection of some of those.

Sometimes, small is what I need. Not big, not weighty, not ponderous or even necessarily thought-provoking. I just need a little help. A reminder that there is still beauty, that God’s word still speaks, that hope is not lost, that ‘this, too, shall pass.’

If you, or someone you love, is in such a place, I highly recommend this little book. You’ll love it. Trust me.

Just Wondering

31 Days of Looking for the Little: Looking Up

DSC01363 looking up

There are too many days when I forget to do this — to look up. To get my eyes off the ground, or my feet, or my neighbor and look up.

Up where the sun is shining — or the rain is falling. Up where the leaves are twinkling, where the birds are roosting, where the clouds are blowing. Up.

I was walking through the lobby of a beautiful auditorium in Pasadena when I stopped looking at the carpet for just a moment. And when I looked up — I saw this glory. Oh, my. 

An amazing chandelier — not a little thing at all. But the act of looking up was little. Just a small change in perspective, just a little bit of motion, and whammo — spectacular.

I need to look up more. 

How about you?

Just Wondering

31-Days of Looking for the Little: Shorebirds

IMG_4366

There was a huge cruise ship in our harbor when I took my walk this morning. HUGE. But what caught my eye were these little guys.

They were skittering and scattering all along the wet sand just below the sidewalk, digging their slender beaks deep into the sand, in search of breakfast, I imagine. 

And I stopped to think about breakfast on that cruise ship compared to the food those stork-beaks would bring up. They know exactly what they need, those birds. And they go after it with everything they’ve got. No piles of bacon and pancakes, scrambled eggs and hash brown — no sirree. 

Just what they need, thanks. That’s all, no more.

Sometimes I think I lose touch with what I need. I buy into the worldview that says, “You can never have enough, so go for it all.” Maybe it’s time to slow down a little bit, to savor what’s necessary, what’s good, what’s helpful and nourishing and sustaining. 

What do you think?

Just Wondering

31 Days of . . . Looking for the Little

DSC02765 last round, 31 days

I’m not quite sure why I fall for this insanity every year, but fall for it I do. The Nester has been inviting bloggers to a 31-day challenge for several years now, and I’ve joined in for the last two.

Last year, it was 31 Days of Giving Permission . . .

The year before, it was 31 Days in Which I Am Saved by Beauty.

I will say, right out of the chute, that these posts, this year, will be far less ambitious than those were. A brief scroll revealed oodles of photos and way too many words. 

So this time around, I am committing to ONE photo and about 200-300 words each day. That’s it. And it’s in perfect keeping with the theme that flitted through my head when I was wondering what in the world to write about this year.

Our littlest granddaughter came to play with us this week because she wasn’t feeling 100% and wasn’t quite up to going to school. And as I walked by the door through which she hopped into our hearts, I saw her shoes, just sitting there.

And they grabbed me for the rest of the day.

She is four years old and growing up fast. A very tall and willowy girl, she’ll be graduating from high school in the blink of an eye.

But right now? She’s still little. And I want to see her in all the beauty of her littleness. I want to be on the lookout for that kind of beauty in the rest of my life, too. 

So for the month of October, I’ll be on talking about small things. Beautiful, quirky, interesting, thought-provoking — whatever.

But little.

Just Wondering

A line that I’ve used frequently in preaching is this one, courtesy of Robert Capon: “Jesus came for the lost, the least, the littlest.”

And that’s what I’m asking God to give me eyes to see this month — the little things. Join me?

31 Days of Giving Permission . . . TO TELL YOUR STORY

31 days of giving permission 200x130

And so, we come to the end of these 31 days.
These days of giving/finding/taking permission:
to disconnect,
to learn,
to lean,
to laugh,
to listen,
to lament,
to let loose,
to re-connect,
to sleep, perchance to dream,
to change,
to say no,
to take a break,
to see,
to be seen,
to read, read, read (1)
to dive in deep,
to remember,
to create,
to stop,
to dance,
to imagine,
to read, read, read (2) 
to take a day off,
to get angry,
to be outrageous,
to breathe deeply,
to surrender,
to write a psalm,
to read, read, read (3) 
to tell the truth,
and now,

TO TELL YOUR STORY. 

Because, when it comes right down to it,
that’s our job on this planet:

to tell the story only we can tell.

To speak of the extraordinary ordinary,
to trace the ins and outs of
tedium,
wonder,
suffering,
learning,
unlearning,
wandering,
and being found. 

Ah, yes.
That last piece,

that being found.
That unique way in which we link arms
with every other person,
across time and geography,
who has known the love of God. 

Because no one else’s story looks like ours.
We know the same God,
we serve the same Savior,
but our stories are our own.

And they need to be told.

So. May I give you permission,
if you need it,
to speak out your life?
To tell the tales that show us the truth?

My own is long and full of twists and turns.
Yours is, too.
But there is a thread that connects them all,
a scarlet thread,
that shimmers in the light,
and whistles in the wind,
and takes every abuse we can hurl at it
as we struggle our way to maturity.

That Thread is strong beyond measure,
tensile, tough, unyielding
and yet so very forgiving.

Right now, the Scarlet Thread of my story
weaves its way along the central California coastline,
and these palm trees mark it out.
These long shadows help me know
who I am,
this mighty sea reminds me
of Whose I am.

And  the people I love,
the neighbors I live with,
the work I do —
these are the hooks that hold me
in place and through which
this part of my story is being told.

What about you?
How is your story being told right now? 


31 Days of Giving Permission . . . TO TELL THE TRUTH

31 days of giving permission 200x130

We’re almost at the end of this giving permission cycle,
 this recognition that sometimes,
we need someone else to say,
“Yes! That’s a grand idea!
Go for it!” 

And today’s topic is a tricky one, isn’t it?
Because sometimes when you want to tell the truth,
you can feel as lonely as this lighthouse,
out there all by itself,
trying to keep the ship off the rocks,
all by its lonesome. 

Because the truth about the truth is this:
There are always more layers than we know.

Life is complicated,
and understanding what has happened,
why it has happened,
and who made it happen
can sometimes take a while to suss out.

This is most especially true when it comes to truth-telling
about anybody else — we cannot know all the pieces,
all the layers of their story, can we?

Maybe that’s why I want to emphasize personal truth-telling
in this post: telling the truth about yourself,
as well as you possibly can,
with care and caution and concern. 

There are a lot ‘catch-words’ about this truth-telling stuff
making the rounds these days.
Words like ‘authenticity,’ ‘vulnerability,’ ‘telling-it-like-it-is.’
And those are fine words, good words, important words.
But sometimes, in our efforts to tell the truth,
we can find ourselves standing out there, all by our lonesome,
a bright red tree against a sea of green,
calling attention to ourselves,
and not always in the way we intended, either. 

So, I want to give you permission to tell the truth,
to tell your truth.

But I want to give it with  a caution.
Tell it first to a small group of like-minded people,
people who know you, who love you, who want the best for you.
Then you won’t feel like so much of a stand-out —
you’ll be one among several.
Sometimes we need to practice truth-telling
in a safe environment,
with people who know us,
before we make any declarations to the universe
about who we are and what we’re dealing with. 

Then, when the time comes
to tell the truth in a bigger pond,
a pond where you really might be the stand-out attraction,
you’ll have that experience to help you tell it.
You’ll shine, and you’ll begin to reflect
the Truth with a capital “T” to all who listen.
And that’s the kind of truth-telling that changes things.

Authenticity is a very good thing;
just make sure you know your truth very well indeed
before you share it with the wider world. 

31 Days of Giving Permission . . . TO READ, READ, READ #3

31 days of giving permission 200x130

This marks the 3rd Tuesday since I first offered permission to read, read, read. On each of those days, I have offered a book review for you to consider. Today’s entry was written by a friend and former neighbor and it is lovely.

I think I need to put a disclaimer on this review, right up front: I know Carolyn Weber and I love her. And for some reason, she chose to talk about me in this book. I knew about it ahead of time, even read a chapter or two before publication, but I was still surprised to see my name, right there.

So, that’s out of the way, okay? And the truth of that first paragraph has absolutely NOTHING to do with what I’m about to say, just so we’re all straight about that. 

And here’s what I’m saying: if you like intelligent, lovely, sometimes funny, sometimes achingly honest writing, then this is a book that should go on the top of your stack. This second volume of personal reflections (coming on the heels of the beautiful conversion narrative of “Surprised by Oxford”) picks up her story several years later than the end of volume one. If you’re expecting (or hoping for) descriptions about courtship and wedding, and blissful early years of marriage and teaching, they are not here.

What is here is the story of a transition time in her life, a scary tale of later-in-life pregnancy, labor and delivery, a decision to leave academia and move back to her hometown in Canada, taking a gigantic leap of faith to start over again. It’s a beautiful story, beautifully told. It’s also filled with hard truths, exhaustion, anxiety, disappointment and challenge. And she weaves all of it together with biblical reflection and the ongoing work of the Spirit in the life of a disciple.

Each chapter begins with a life story — a hospital delivery room, journal-writing as therapy, reaching out for help when illness strikes, sitting with a friend for tea, a trip to the beach with her children, a sabbatical move, hiking a mountain trail, a season of struggle in her marriage, a hoped-for new pregnancy and its complications, a prayer walk. And each personal story flows gently into reflection on a biblical story. It’s an interesting amalgam, this memoir/devotional, and I like it very much. Very much, indeed.

Carolyn Weber is a force to be reckoned with, offering a keen intellect, fascinating life experience, and a heart longing after God with every word she writes. I commend this book to you with no hesitation.

Herewith some gems you might enjoy:

“Irreverence begins in not paying attention. And yet, I think, it can also stem from counting too often and too closely. The eternal cannot be insisted into a measurement.” – pg. 61

“Throughout the day, the clock ticks, and I tick with it. A ticking bomb. Sometimes, I am successful at being calm, at being present. At being attentive to the children, the husband, the paperwork, the household chores, the friends, the family, the many gifts, even in demands, around me. But often I am not. I am harried and hurried. I keep time with adrenaline rather than with affection. I multitask and fret and race and miss: there is a rush in the rush, and in doing so, I forget to breathe, the breathing so central to running a race, to giving birth, to inspiring others, to living life itself. . .” pg. 147-148

“Scripture, prayer and fellowship show us, again and again, how we live the heart of the metaphor into the very most real. As a literature professor, I have come to admire how God uses even the most skeptical of secular minds to expose the most sacred of truths; nothing lies beyond the glimmer of his salvation, not even cynicism, which I find to be a shocking grace, in and of itself.” – pg. 157


31 Days of Giving Permission . . .TO WRITE YOUR OWN PSALM

31 days of giving permission 200x130

I’m writing today at A Deeper Family, continuing a series on my journey
with my mom through dementia.

Our weekly lunch last week was a tough one for me,
and I tried to write it out as the psalmists did.
It’s an interesting exercise — I encourage you to try it.

A reflection on Psalm 56

“Be merciful to me, my God,
    for my enemies are in hot pursuit;
    all day long they press their attack.
My adversaries pursue me all day long. . .”

I watch, helpless and adrift.
The enemies are winning, O God,
the wormholes are growing.

The past is but a whisper,
the present, lost in the whirlwind,
those swirling terrors of fear and confusion.

Where are you, O Lord?
Where are you?

Come and rescue us, return to us the days
the locusts have eaten,
the swarming hordes
or forgetfulness,
devouring her memories,
erasing her story.

I watch and I weep, tears my companion day and night.
They sit, just behind my eyes, waiting to ambush me,
to gut me, knock me to my knees.

And she slips away, Lord.
Every single day,
she slips away.
Piece by piece, slice by slice, word by word.

Please join me at A Deeper Family to read the rest of this post. . .


31 Days of Giving Permission . . . TO SURRENDER

31 days of giving permission 200x130

If he, who has surrendered himself on our behalf
can be so very generous,
then we, too, must learn of surrender.
For it is, as St. Francis said so many years ago,
“in giving that we receive.” 

Even as the trees surrender themselves
to the changing of the seasons,
to the dying that bright color signifies,
so we, too, are invited to come and die.

In the very best sense — we die to our sinful selves,
and live to Jesus Christ.

BLESSED SABBATH, FRIENDS. 

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these?
If God is for us, who can ever be against us?
Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all,
won’t he also give us everything else?
Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own?
No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself.”

-Romans 8:31-33, New Living Translation